Higher Than High, Lower Than Deep
by BadBoysAreBest
Summary: Private moments from late Season 2 narrated by Damon Salvatore. "As exciting and sexually charged our dynamic can be, it's mostly infuriating, torturous, depressing and the many other joyous emotions that she insists on making me feel." - D/E.
1. Did They Warn You?

_Story is set in late Season Two. **This story was donated to breast cancer by Summer Fairy. **Story requests begin at $1, see my profile for more information. I'm willing to write all types of fun for you. =)_

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_**Did they tell you, you should grow up?** When you wanted to dream..._  
_**Did they warn you?** Better shape up, if you want to succeed._  
_I don't know about you, who are they talking to? _

_**They're not talking to me.**_

_I'm **higher** than high... **lower** than deep._  
_I'm doing it **wrong**... singing along._

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There's _too_ much anticipation building for the arrival of the Big Bad Klaus. I'm so over it.

I just hate waiting around for the fucker to show up. Let's do this already. There's been rumors for the past few days about 'the feared one' making tracks to the quaint little town of Mystic Falls. I've never wanted time to move quicker in my undead life!

It's an understatement to say that everyone is on edge - like all the fucking time. We've gone over the plan, so many times that all of us could recite it backwards or in sign language at this point. As Elena would so sweetly say about me, I'm about to _snap_.

Yet no matter how much we 'prepare' for the showdown, nobody actually feels prepared. There's just too many questions, too many worries. I try and stay out it, but I can't, it's impossible to not get sucked in.

Will the fucker kidnap Elena before I get the chance to rescue her? Does Judgy have the strength to do the spell without dying? Will The Evil Sluts _(Katherine & Isobel)_ betray me? Does my little brother stand a chance against real vamps? Does Barbie even trust me? What about Ric-, ugh, there I go _again_. How did I get roped into worrying about stupid humans? Oh, right, I had to fall in love with one... fuck my life.

It's a very, very lovely night, much like last night and the night before that _(catch the sarcasm)_. I'm perched on the tree outside of Elena's bedroom for the seventeenth night in a row. Why didn't Stef think of watching her round the clock? I just don't get it.

I don't care if Klaus needs an invitation to get through the front door, I'm going to make sure that he doesn't get in. These Original vampires seem to come full of tricks, throwing the regular vamp rulebook out the window.

By now, I find Elena's routine to be predictable in every way after watching her for so many nights. She usually takes a shower around eleven, then comes back into her room dressed in pajamas _(why never a towel?)_ and after examines her body in the mirror, likely checking for any imperfections as teenage girls are prone to do. In my eyes, she's perfect, of course.

After Elena finishes moisturizing or whatever that's called, she turns the lights off in the room and climbs into her humble yet cozy bed. It's usually past one by this point, but she never falls asleep right away. Instead she writes in her diary using the light of her bedside lamp. Gilberts and diaries, some things never do change, huh?

Her diary entries are lasting longer and longer as the nights go by; leaving me to wonder about what's got her so worked up to write that much. I hope her scribbles aren't all '_I want to die. I'm going to die. I don't want die'_ and wish for something along the lines of _'Why does Damon have to be so hot?'_ - eh, wishful thinking.

While I should be relieved that it's _another_ boring night of watching her, it doesn't change the fact that it's boring. When I first started coming over here I thought I'd get to see or learn about something juicy. Is it really so much to ask, to catch her having an erotic dream? Or better yet, hear her touching herself? Nope. None of that. Instead I get screams of fear from her. The first time she screamed, I jumped from the branch in a panic. I shortly realized that she woke up from a nightmare. It took Jeremy all but 30 seconds to coming rushing in to aid her. If she wasn't wearing vervain, I'd be willing to compel her nightmares away. That would make everything better and everyone would be able to sleep a little lighter.

Elena is _still_ writing in her diary.

Fuck. This is so boring.

Maybe I should ask Stef to pick up a babysitting shift? She's _his_ girlfriend after all, I frown, the words leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

I stop thinking about Elena and my baby brother together and continue to watch her patiently.

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**Elena's Diary**

_"I never asked for my life to get this complicated. It would be easy to blame the Salvatore brothers for bringing this supernatural stuff into my life, but it's not that simple. Wouldn't have Katherine shown up anyway? Out of all the people I've talked to, it seems like she knew the most about Klaus looking for me. And I've hardly forgotten about Rose either. What if she had managed to kidnap me? It's hard to imagine not having Damon... And Stefan around to rescue me. So, no, I can't regret meeting the brothers. They didn't wish for any of this to happen. It's out of their control._

_I just hate feeling this trapped as if there's no way out of this situation. I don't like the fact that I'm tied down to so-called fate. I've never believed in fate. I'm all about free will. I want to make my own decisions, but I can't. Every time I try and make my own decision, it just backfires on me. Everyone has been keeping such a close eye on me. It's only getting worse too. I'm surprised that I'm allowed to sleep alone. While I appreciate their concern, I hate being placed on this pedestal. I seriously feel more like a treasured item than a person._

_I can't even remember the last I did something I wanted. How sad is that? I don't recognize myself anymore._

_There used to be a time in my life where I did whatever I wanted... without worrying about consequences. I used to be free. I never used to care a__bout the opinions of others. Did that make me selfish? I guess, looking back, I was pretty selfish. It was fun, fun for a long time, until that night that I decided to go to the party... I still think about that night. Sometimes I flashback to that night in my nightmares, it always ends the same way. Damn. If only... If __I hadn't gotten so drunk, my parents would still be alive right now._

_Ugh, no more depressing thoughts! I have to stop this vicious cycle in my head. It's sickening. There's nothing I can do about their deaths. They're not coming back to me. Or to Jeremy._

_It's hard to not feel like the worst sister in the world. He should hate me. He's been so good to me lately and that only makes me feel more guilty about my past decisions._

_I just... I feel like I can't breathe, but this time it's so much worst. I feel like my heart is about to explode. This is too much for me. I need to get out of here!"_

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Outside of her window, I'm currently at war with myself. I can hear her accelerated heartbeat and then the sound of her diary dropping to her floor. The pen rolls off the comforter next.

Elena's hand is on her chest. She looks scared. I don't know if I should rush in and find out what's wrong.

What if she's having a cardiac arrest? A seizure? I _know_ human hearts. Her heart sounds wrong. The beats sound just like when my victim is aware of what's going to happen, right before I go in for the kill.

Just as I convince myself to go in and help her, she completely startles me by jumping out of bed. I'm baffled watching her race out of her pajamas, in turn giving me a fleeting glimpse of lacy underwear. She grabs a pair of discarded jeans to shimmy into. But she doesn't turn my way as she changes her shirt and throws on a jacket. I watch as she reaches high into her closet to grab something. It looks like sticks? She puts them in her back pocket. Yeah... I have no fucking clue about what's going on right now.

I'm expecting her to open the door and leave the house, but she doesn't. I'm expecting her to call Stef, but she doesn't. I stare at her standing fully dressed in the middle of her bedroom. This is getting weird.

So when she walks straight over to the window, I choke on an unneeded breath. I stay very still as she opens the window. I'm wondering if she figured out that I've been watching her. Yet she doesn't even look at me. She barely looks at the tree at all.

My mouth drops a bit as I watch her swing over the window. I'm fully prepared to save her if she slips. With graceful expertise she closes her bedroom window and climbs down the side of her house using the vine railing.

Shit.

What do I do now? Do I go down there and confront her? Or do I follow her? I know Elena is going to be pissed off if she finds out that I've been watching her bedroom. I'll be a dead man, no pun intended.

I roll my eyes and decide to follow her. I figure, why not? My natural curiosity is getting the better of me. My best guess is that she's going to the boarding house, but then why didn't she just drive there? Or ask Stef to pick her up? She knows that he'd come to get her. We're nocturnal, even human-wannabe vampires like my brother.

Whatever, I'll find out what she's up to soon enough. I continue to follow her as she walks the two mile journey, in the direction of the boarding house

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_**Did I ask you for attention?** When affection is what I need..._

TO BE CONTINUED

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_A/N: Would love to hear your guesses about where Elena is going in the middle of the night. Part 2/3 next. Vic (Summer Fairy) is an author too. Check out her stories. **Be Good & Review!**_

_**Song Fic: **Twilight Galaxy by Metric (Death To The Throne Remix)_


	2. Twilight Galaxy

_Thinking** sorrow** was perfection_  
_I would wallow till you told me_  
_There's **no glitter** in the** gutter**_  
_There's no twilight galaxy_

_**Go** higher than high, **Go** Lower than deep_  
_**Keep** doing it wrong, **Keep** Singing along_

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It's been a long time since I've stalked a girl, I note as I continue to follow Elena into the darkness. I'm at odds trying to figure out why I found it enjoyable in the past. Probably because I was going to get fresh, frightened blood, I frown nostalgically.

My eyes dart back and forth noticing that Elena has changed course. I wait until I can speed closer to her undetected. This entire time I've been expecting to end up at _(my)_ home, but now she's heading in the direction of nowhere. No, really, she's going nowhere.

It's becoming a pain in the ass for me to stay invisible, as she walks through a cleared area, yet I wait patiently behind.

If I didn't know any better, I'd question whether the girl is sleepwalking or not, because this is getting disturbing. It's rather dark out here for human eyes without any streetlights near.

A little noise captures my attention before I see a brilliant, bright glow of green. _Emergency Lightsticks._ Well, that's what she's been carrying in her back pocket, solving the mystery from earlier. Guess she came prepared for this little excursion, what a little brat, always looking for danger.

I grumble to myself as I follow her into the sunken forest. Didn't anyone ever tell the girl to worry about the things that go bump in the night? This is ridiculous, roaming around in the dark like this. It's hard to not be skeptical as the minutes drag on.

All of the sudden, Elena opens the other lightsticks filling the air with green. I watch her carefully as she slowly walks down a small hill. From a distance, I watch her undress in the forest, further confusing me. I start walking closer, anxious to find out what she's doing.

Near the bottom of the hill, I see the nightsticks make a half-circle shape on the ground and I can hear the sound of water. I guess the water is coming from a passing stream. I look around for Elena, but I don't see her, only her pile of clothes on my right side. _What the fuck?_

I rake my hand through my hair distressed that she seemingly disappeared before my eyes. This doesn't make sense. She wouldn't have just left her stuff like this, if she has, I'm definitely getting her professional help. Even under stress, nobody should be acting _this_ crazy.

I bite the bullet, deciding to make myself known because I'm literally at a dead end. "Elena?" I call out to the dark forest.

No response.

"Elena?" I call out louder, getting annoyed.

"Damon?" I hear her reply meekly.

"Where are you?" I ask, looking around.

"What are you doing here?" She retorts, sounding deeply confused.

"I went for a walk." I say lamely.

"Now? In the forest?" She asks incredulously.

"As fascinating as it is talking to an invisible you, it's getting old." I drawl out. "Where are you?"

"Over here." I hear her say reluctantly.

Even with my fantastic night vision, I can't see her. "Can you try that again?"

"Here." She says. "I'm waving."

I look around, searching for her hand and I see it behind a massive rock. The expression on my face must be priceless.

"Elena…" I say walking in the direction of the rock.

"Wait, Damon. Stop!" She calls out flustered. "Don't come any closer."

"You're kidding, right?" I scoff. "Look, I'm really not in the mood to play a game of peek-a-boo."

"Shit." I hear her say anxiously.

I roll my eyes and flash over to the rock. I look around, finding other rocks to step on and climb to the top of it.

What I find over the rock is hard to describe, but I'll try.

Elena is naked.

Naked.

She's wet.

Wet.

She's floating in a hot spring, to be exact.

She's glowing under the moon's light.

The water is too still to make any sound. I hadn't been able to hear her in water earlier. I didn't even know there were hot springs in Mystic Falls…

"Damon!" She scolds angry. "Go away!"

She's really pissed off at me. Well, too bad.

"I swear to God, if you don't get out of here right now, I'll-"

"You'll want?" I taunt, amused by the pathetic threat.

Elena swims closer to me and I wait anxiously to hear what she'll say.

She swims closer and I get distracted by the sight of her nipples as she stands a bit.

Ahhh.

Fuck.

Elena splashed me. She fucking splashed with me with hot water!

I growl wiping the water from my face. My poor jacket, this isn't pleather for fuck's sake.

Elena is laughing, only her head is popping out of the water. I can barely make out her body, courtesy of my enhanced vision.

"Damon… go away, please." She whines. "Or I'll do it again."

"I'd like to see you try." I scoff, prepared to move away quicker than she can blink.

She groans in frustration. "The least you can do is turn away then."

"I can't see you." I retort.

"Yes, you can." She replies knowingly.

"Not if you're under the water." I clarify snarky.

"Your-"

"Even with my night vision." I assure, rolling my eyes.

"Oh." She says relieved. "So... what are you doing here?"

"I'm a nocturnal predator." I say lamely, not wanting to admit that I've been watching her all night. "What's your excuse?"

"Late night dip." She replies sheepishly.

"You know this isn't safe." I say seriously. "Out here, in the middle of the forest - alone."

She remains quiet.

"What if an animal attacked you?" I prompt. "Or you come across a vampire that you aren't friendly with?"

I hear her sigh dramatically, then a splash of water. I can only kinda see the top of her head, her eyes peeking from the water. She looks a little silly, to be honest.

"Elena…" I say annoyed about her not replying.

She lifts her head out of the water. "Blah, blah, blah." She says exasperated. "You're here now. So, I've got nothing to worry about. I'm safe, right?"

"Right." I agree, rolling my eyes. I'm laying in between two rocks, with my feet propped up, looking down at her.

"How did you find this little… gem?" I ask curiously after a moment of silence.

"Uh, hmm." She answers quietly. "My parents used to come here. Back when they were dating."

"How romantic." I reply half-sarcastically.

"Yeah, I guess my mom's parents were really strict. So they had to find not so popular places to hook up." She laughs awkwardly.

"Has Jeremy been here?" I ask for the sake of conversation, not like I actually care.

"Yeah. I think he used to bring Vicki here, before…"

Before I killed her, I fill in my head. _Oops._

"So you've brought Stefan here?" I ask tersely.

Elena is silent before answering. "No."

"Why not?"

"I just haven't." She replies flustered. "I haven't brought anyone here. And you don't count either." She points out.

"Technically, I'm with you." I say like the smartass I am.

"Uninvited." She murmurs.

"Do you make this a habit?" I ask. "These 'late night dips'?"

"Nope." She answers.

"So why tonight?" I probe.

She's quiet for awhile, making me believe that she's ignoring me.

"I needed some air. I just wanted to get away. From everything. Everyone." She grumbles. "Guess since you're not actually a person, the night was a success."

"Ouch." I say in mock offense.

She laughs a little.

"You can't stay in there forever." I warn. "It's bad for you, if you're a weak human that is."

"I know." She replies in a sing-song voice. "I have an alarm. 30 minutes."

"Good, that's good." I say slightly relieved.

I look over to her, she's staring at the sky studying the stars in earnest.

What a night.

"What's your starsign?" She asks casually.

"Scorpio."

"Figures." She laughs like it's the most hilarious thing in the world that I was born in November - a century and half ago.

"You?" I return.

"Cancer."

"You don't really believe in that stuff, do you?" I joke.

"You're a vampire." She scoffs. "I'm a doppelgänger. Weirder stuff has happened."

"You actually believe we're soulmates?" I retort sarcastically.

"Yup." She answers playfully.

I have to laugh at the ridiculousness. "Then why are you dating my baby brother instead of me?"

"Another mystery of the universe." She muses.

"I'm sure." I scoff.

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_A/N: Likely to finish with one long chapter next. I had a good time reading your guesses. I didn't expect anyone to guess correctly, but I was curious to hear your ideas on her late night adventure. Trivia: According to L.J. Smith, Damon is a Scorpio. I'll post the astro info on my livejournal, user is junkyatbest =) **Be Good & Review!**_


	3. Pick You Up & Take You

_**I'm alright**, come on baby  
__I've **seen** all the **demons** that you've got  
__If you're **not** alright now… come on baby_

_**I'll pick you up** and take you where you want  
__**Anywhere** you want_

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Hmm. I sorta mentally check out musing over our latest back and forth. I can't believe Elena has the audacity to say that we're soulmates. Correction: _she_ believes we're soulmates.

I swear to the powers that be… she's intentionally been trying to tear me apart from the inside out. Just look at us right now. She might as well be vacationing in Monte Carlo, meanwhile I'm sitting here going out of my mind.

We've never been fixed at one point, it's always a push and pull between us. We're just too stubborn and hot blooded _(metaphorically speaking)_. As exciting and sexually charged our dynamic can be, it's mostly infuriating, torturous, depressing and the many other _joyous_ emotions that she insists on making me feel.

_**Feel.**_

Feeling is utterly overrated, at least it is in my case, which includes my mortal life as a Southern Gentleman. It fuckin' sucks to feel _this_ violently without ever receiving a fraction of it back. Isn't my logic solid? For fuck's sake - what's the point of opening my heart if there's no one willing to love me? _Ah! Ah! Ah!_ See - there I go again, spewing more teen movie worthy bullshit.

What I would do to get these thoughts out of my head… I just wanna be like, 'you're not welcome here, hope the door hits you on the way out' to my aching insides.

**_I, Damon Salvatore, refuse to become a servant of…_**

Wait.

My eyes narrow cautiously staring ahead.

What the?

**_My Elena._**

"Hey!" I call out.

Elena's limp body in the water doesn't look relaxed, nope, more like dead.

"Elena!" I say much louder, getting antsy.

I call her name a few times, but she's not responding in the slightest. Only the water is moving her. I'm freaking out. What if she drowns? She can't drown - like she _can't_. I'm the only person around for miles and I'm _(un)_dead, meaning there's no chance of CPR happening. Hello, I don't fucking breathe!

Just thinking about Elena dying right before my eyes is horrific. I snarl in frustration and quickly remove my shirt, jacket, shoes and socks; not caring in which direction they go flying. I can worry about the damn dry cleaning bill later.

"Motherfucker!" I shudder entering the hot spring. The water feels like it's literally burning my skin off. I swear, this has to be like vampire taboo. Our bodies weren't supernaturally enhanced to withstand high temperatures. In fact, this is the very reason, why I had been apprehensive to skinny-dip with my girl when I first found her. I knew this wouldn't feel good.

With unrelenting determination, I make with the heroics and wade through the water regardless of the heat to grab her.

Needless to say, pulling Elena's naked body up against mine isn't exactly adding up to my personal fantasies. _Fuck, her breasts are perfection._ Clearing my head - I concentrate on getting us out of the wretched water. This girl is gonna be the death of me, that much I'm willing to swear on.

I look down studying the beauty in my arms. Elena's lips are parted, her eyes are closed, but she's breathing okay from what I can detect. As I pull her out of the water onto the cold rocky plateau, her skin instantly scales with goosebumps due to the rapid change in temperature exposure. I frown at the sight. I grab my leather jacket and hastily drape it over her body in an attempt to lock some of the heat in. 'Cause I'll be really screwed if Elena falls into a hypothermic shock.

A few moments later, Elena's eyelids flicker a little before she opens her chocolate eyes. She looks at me deeply confused.

"Damon…" She whispers like a fairytale heroine.

"You okay?" I ask cupping her cheek.

She flinches at the question. She attempts to escape my arms, but fails, falling into a sudden dizzy spell.

"Easy." I murmur concerned. "You fainted in the hot spring."

"Hot spring." She repeats softly. Then I see panic reach her eyes.

"Damon! I'm naked!" She screams offended.

"Yeah, I can see that." I retort, holding my hands up in the air.

Poor choice of words on my part, apparently.

If looks could kill, I'd be dust by now.

She looks down relieved to see that I'm still wearing my jeans, soaked nonetheless. She awkwardly hurries to put my leather jacket on the correct way. It covers enough to maintain some inkling of modesty.

"Damon!" She exclaims smacking me with her tiny fists.

"What?" I say not moving an inch.

"Stop staring!" She grumbles incredulously.

Oh, shit, I didn't even realize that I was staring. And yet, I'm _still_ staring. Oops.

"Please." She huffs dramatically. "Just look that way." She points to the left. "While I get dressed."

There's a pleading expression on her face.

I roll my eyes at her, but do as she asks.

Out of the corner of my eye _(I'm evil like that)_, I see her study me suspiciously before standing up, utterly exposed from the waist down. I try to not choke after stealing a glance at her nearly bare pussy. I swear, she's so damn sexy and she doesn't even have to try. She's nothing like those sluts that flirt with me at the Grill, supermarket, library… right.

From my spot, I listen to Elena climb down the slope to retrieve her clothing. A few seconds pass, before she says something to me.

"I just… don't get it." She says clearly annoyed about something on her mind. "You know what I look like naked."

I turn around in wonder, I see that she's now got underwear on. She's moving onto her jeans.

"You were with Katherine." She continues.

My brows furrow trying to follow her incessant ranting.

"You were obsessed with Katherine." She snaps sounding mad at me for the fact!

_Where the fuck did that come from?_

"So what's the deal?" She asks, not making a move to remove my jacket in favor of hers.

"Wait, what?" I blurt out like a gaping salmon.

"Nevermind." She mutters under her breath, grabbing all of the green lightsticks around her on the ground.

She doesn't even look up at me before walking away!

"Elena!" I call out angrily.

I don't understand what I did wrong. What am I saying? I didn't do anything wrong.

She doesn't reply, but just keeps on walking, ignoring my existence.

I quickly put on my shoes and shirt, not bothering to button it back up. I gracefully jump off the plateau to catch up with her.

I run up to her, grabbing her by the arm, turning her to face me. "Didn't we _just_ go over this? This is not the time to go off galavanting in the forest."

"Whatever." She says, teeth chattering.

With my hand on her, it's easy to notice that her whole body is trembling. I can feel and hear the changes in her body. She's putting on a brave front _(nothing new)_, but I know she's suffering.

I sigh knowing that she's just gonna be stubborn about this too, so I decide to pick her up bridal style. She drops her clothing and lightsticks in the process.

"Damon!" She squeals like a wild banshee. Her nails clawing into my shoulders, which gratefully can't do much actual damage to me.

"What the, argh, put me down!" She demands. "Right now!"

"Nope." I reply sweetly. "You're freezing."

"So what?" She freaks.

"You need to get inside and warm up, ASAP."

Elena looks quite puzzled before replying. "What?"

She looks around, putting her left arm around my neck for support. "Where are you taking me? My house is in the other direction! Damon! Put me down!"

"My house is closer." I correct. "It'd be a good idea to prepare yourself."

"Oh, no…" She says knowingly in horror.

"Oh, yes." I reply cheekily. "Hold on, this will only take a sec."

15 seconds later exactly, we're at the door of the boarding house.

"Ugh… put me down… please…" Elena whimpered. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

I grimace and put her down promptly.

She bends down, putting her hands on her knees, leaning over. I watch her carefully waiting for, well, anything to happen.

Elena looks up as if to say something, but instead her eyes roll back and she faints - _again_. I catch her on reflex before she tumbles to the ground.

"You've got to be kidding me." I growl to myself, opting to throw her over my shoulder. I admit this is positively less vampire, more caveman.

What's with the fainting tonight? This is too much. What would have happened tonight if I wasn't her personal stalker?

With her in my arms, I stroll right in because we never lock our door. I scoff, it's not like someone could rob the Salvatore brothers.

"Honey, I'm home!" I call out entering the house. "Yo, Stef!"

Where's my little brother? Elena can be _his_ problem now.

"Stefan!" I yell obnoxiously louder. "Elena's here!"

Nothing, but crickets answer.

I roll my eyes in disbelief. Just my stellar luck.

I walk around the house with Elena in my arms trying to decide what to do. None of the downstairs' fireplaces are burning, meaning the house isn't warm at all.

I bite my lip knowing my next move could get me in a lot of trouble.

Then again, I was never one to shy away from trouble. In fact, dear ol' father once said it was my middle name. I was 12.

I sigh at the childhood memory and walk upstairs to my bedroom. When I left my room earlier, it had been rather cozy in there, so why the hell not.

Entering my bedroom, I'm relieved to see that the fire is still burning. I unceremoniously plop Elena onto my bed, in favor of tending to the fire. I need to add more wood, while it's still ripe.

After making sure the fire is blazing, I scurry back to Elena's unconscious body. I really hope nothing is seriously wrong. This better just be her weak little human body reacting to some temperature woes.

I try to not think about the fact that I can't physically warm her up. Maybe if we were having sex, but just holding her isn't going to do anything - not from my _cold_ bones. With a sigh, I grab the discarded throw blanket at the corner of my bed and wrap it around her body. I'd like to get her out of my leather jacket, but I know she'd punish me for it later.

I pick her up in my arms, taking us over to the leather chair near the fireplace.

This is my best shot at warming her up quickly.

"Elena… come on… wakey-wakey." I coo, petting her face and hair.

She smells fantastic.

A part of me isn't too excited about her waking up. I know she's just gonna jump out of my embrace as if I'm contagious.

I grumble while massaging her head with my fingers.

She's breathing fine. There's nothing physically strange going on, so I'm not ready to race her to the emergency room. Nope - instead, I just hang out with her, silently wishing our circumstances were different. _One can only play make believe for so long._

As Elena begins to shift in my arms, I'm grateful that she's rousing, but I'm not prepared to deal with her 'greeting'.

She huffs a little, but surprises me by burying her face in the crook of my neck. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding.

It's obvious that she's awake, but she isn't saying anything.

I hesitantly continue to rub her back in slow circles wondering what's going on in her pretty little head.

She huffs once more, her warm breath making my pale skin come alive.

"Elena." I address quietly.

"Damon." She replies sounding _bothered_. "Damon… Damon… I'm so tired."

"Okay." I reply slowly. "Do you want me to take you home?"

She shakes her head in protest.

"So you're gonna stay the night here?" I confirm.

She remains still.

"Elena?"

"Yeah." She replies defeated.

"Stefan isn't home." I inform her.

She sighs. "I'm tired."

"I know."

I'm slightly taken aback as she jumps out of my arms.

I look up at her, standing above me.

She's giving me the pouty lips. _I fucking hate that look._

I raise a brow at her in question.

"You always rescue me." She says like it's a sudden epiphany and walks away.

What was I supposed to say to _that_?

She's giving me a headache. Sometimes I just can't read her at all.

I lean back against the chair, angrily throwing the blanket aside. I close my eyes not in the mood to chase her, but of course, I will if she tries to leave the house.

A few minutes later, I open my eyes hearing her enter my bedroom. I stand up from to chair, finding her in tiny pajamas, covered haphazardly by a plush robe. In her hands, she's holding my leather jacket.

I shrug walking over to her, taking the jacket and throwing it aside on top of my large dresser.

"Just tell me already." Elena demands with a serious expression.

"Tell you what?" I ask tilting my head.

I'm worried the girl is experiencing memory loss from all of the fainting, because she's officially talking in riddles.

She walks up to me, so there's barely any space left between our bodies. I stare down at her waiting for the inevitable confrontation that's known as our routine; the one with me on the receiving end of a slap.

"Why do you love me?" She asks bluntly.

I mouth the word 'why' in shock. Of all the things she could have asked, Jesus H. Christ.

_How to answer this?_ "I…"

"I know you do." She announces firmly. "But I need to know why."

"You know?" I question wondering if she had pretended to not remember my midnight confession all these grueling months.

Elena shrugs, which pisses me off a little.

"Everyone says you do." She states confidently.

I frown.

"Come on, it's like… obvious."

I continue to frown.

"Why else would you…" She continues narrowing her eyes. "You always rescue me."

I'm sorta shell-shocked, I pout slightly.

"This… thing… between us." She says nervously, pushing her hair behind her ears. "It's gotta be more than you trying to hurt Stefan."

I raise a mocking brow. I can't help, but tease her. This is ridiculous.

"It's gotta be more than… than you know…" She turns aways suddenly losing steam. "Wanting to screw Katherine's doppelgänger."

I make a face of disgust at that particular theory of motivation.

I watch Elena search my expressionless face for some kind of acknowledgement.

Elena's face falls flat, looking down at the ground then back up at me.

"Fine." She says angry, eyes burning holes into me. "Forget it. Goodnight."

She attempts to walk away like none of this ever happened. _Yeah, I don't think so._

It takes me like three seconds to shut my bedroom door and corner her against the wall.

"What do you want from me, Elena?" I ask dejected.

"I just wanna know why." She replies nearly crying.

I exhale loudly trying to figure out how to proceed. Talking to her often feels like a complicated chess game.

"Why?" I ask, honestly baffled.

She nods looking up at me eagerly.

"No, I mean, why are you asking? Why now?" I interrogate using a soft, yet deadly voice.

Elena closes her eyes and shakes her head.

"Elena…"

"What?" She whispers, looking away from me. "I just wanna know."

I grab her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. "Tell me why you decided to ask me _today_, so we can talk about this. Please." I plead.

I just need a grain of sand from her proving that it's even worth rehashing this topic. Considering I killed her kid brother the last time we went over this, I'm threading carefully.

She sighs in agreement and I let go of her face. I grab her hand leading her to my bed, not wanting to have _(possibly)_ the most important conversation of my life against the bedroom door. She comes with me without protest.

I let go of her hand to take a seat on the edge of my bed, while she climbs up to sit moderately close to me.

I look over at her expectantly, but she's looking away, oddly fixated on my dresser under the television.

* * *

_A/N: I'm evil for stopping (Sorry, Vic). I know. But this was getting too massive, so I had to chop it up for the sake of flow. The next/last chapter starts right from this point. **Be Good & Review!**_

**_Don't copy & paste excerpts of my work.  
allysalvatore15 _**_plagiarized one of my stories. She removed it today, but she's still plagiarizing other authors. Please report her to FanFiction Abuse. More details at my LiveJournal (user: junkyatbest) - thank you._


	4. Heart's Still Beating

_Sorry for the wait. Thanks to the lovely TwistieK, this story grew a few chapters. Since I actually planned this chapter to be the end, I needed time to rewrite the storyline. Here's the deal: **Everything you've read happened after 2x16 (The House Guest) and this chapter adapts plot points from 2x17 (Know Thy Enemy). **_

* * *

.

.

.

_If we're still alive, my regrets are few _  
_If my life is **mine**, what **shouldn't** I do?_  
_I get wherever I'm going _  
_I get whatever I need _  
_While my blood's still flowing _  
_And my heart's still beating like a hammer_

.

'Why do you love me?', her blunt question won't stop repeating in my head. I swear my heart stopped beating, even though it doesn't beat, but that's just semantics. I still feel the same horrible wretched feelings as humans do.

Never had I ever expected her to mention the roaring elephant in the room. She's always been the one floating peacefully along a river named Denial, simply turning the other cheek instead of facing what's been building between us. I've learned to deal with it, well, I try to not dwell on it. Much.

So that's it then, she finally worked up the courage to discuss how I'm 'obviously' in love with her. Fuck, she makes it sound so easy. She makes it sound like I _want_ to be in love with her. As if I actually had a choice in the matter. Trust me, I would love to hit rewind on all of this lovey-dovey crap; go back to not caring about her or any other pathetic humans. 'Seduce-Bite-Compel', man, life used to be so simple once upon a Midnight moon. My gums feel a little sore just thinking about the good ol' times.

Back on target, I chide myself mentally.

I need to know why she's mentioning this now.

"I don't believe in fate." Elena says quietly, not looking at me.

She could be talking to herself, but alas, I tread on. Otherwise we could be like this all night. And this isn't exactly my fantasy of having her all night in my bed.

"But you believe in soulmates?" I retort, slightly mocking her earlier words.

I, of course, believe in fate. I'm a fatalist. Doesn't she remember? Was it that long ago?

"People have multiple opportunities to find their astrological soulmate." She counters in a steady voice. "Fate is set in stone. It's something you can't change."

I look at her puzzled wondering what's with her philosophical choice of discussion.

I thought we were going to discuss our 'relationship'? Has she already given up so easily?

"Elena." I address her seriously, nudging her to pay attention to me.

"I've been thinking about free will. A lot." She rushes out. "Today."

"Okay…" I reply, asking her to continue, because I don't have the slightest idea of where to continue from here. The girl drives me crazy that way.

"Maybe you love me." She says. "Maybe you love me as much as Stefan. Maybe you love me more."

I've thought about our love triangle before. I don't believe Stefan loves her the_ same_ way. Not the way I love her. He loves her in his own special way. Our love isn't really comparable in a numeric fashion. It's very different.

My eyes land directly on her inquisitive brown orbs. It's a hauntingly breathtaking image before me. God, I'm such a sap, it's a weakness - trust me, I know.

"Isobel… Isobel last year said I was doomed if I stayed with you and Stefan." Elena confesses looking away, anywhere but me.

"And here I thought after what happened the other day, you'd know better than to take anything she said seriously." I scoff in disgust.

The crazy bitch kidnapped her own daughter.

"She killed herself. She took off her necklace and the sun..." Elena trailed off dejected.

I'm momentarily surprised by the news. Looks like Stefan left out that key piece of information. Can't say I'm too shaken about her death. If Isobel hadn't offed herself, I would have done it myself. It was a means to an end.

But fuck, what a way to do it? In front of her own daughter, you would think the kid didn't have enough emotional baggage already to deal with. No wonder Elena has been acting loony tonight.

"She also said you were in love with me." Elena reminds me as if I've forgotten.

"What's this about, Elena?" I ask getting frustrated.

"Say it." She commands in a firm voice.

I choke at the expression on her beautiful face.

"Say it, Damon." She orders louder. "Make it true. Come on. I don't hear you denying it. I know I'm doomed. Just say it already."

"Doomed?" I repeat incredulously. "Elena. You're not doomed."

"Fine. Tell me how this is going to end." She sneers. "Cause right now, it looks like I'm going to die young… any way I look at it."

"Hey, give us some credit, we've protected you this long." I protest offended.

"So that's the plan? Neither of you will let me out of your sight ever again?" She retorts annoyed.

"Let me know when you come up with a better one." I reply smirking.

"You were watching me tonight... earlier." She accuses with a knowing glare.

I nod in admission. There's no point in denying it. We've crossed so many lines already. "You do have this pesky habit of getting kidnapped every other Thursday." I say teasingly.

"Why did you try to keep it a secret?" She asks with furrowed brows. "That you were watching me…"

"I didn't think you'd be okay with the idea." I shrug casually.

"You could have knocked. On my window." She replies slowly.

"It's creepier knowing you're out there without being able to see you." She explains frowning.

"I don't think your boyfriend would have approved of the impromptu slumber party." I scoff at the thought, vaguely wondering how long she's known that I've been watching her. Have I lost my stealth?

"You know, you should just stay here. It's better for us to keep an eye on you."

"Right." Elena replies unimpressed.

"What?" I question with a suspicious look. I'm dying to get inside of her pretty little head!

"Are you going to tell me why?" She snaps annoyed. "Why you love me?"

"… You didn't really answer my question." I protest in response, scanning her face.

"Yes, I did." She scowls.

"What? Something do with free will and such nonsense?" I reply disbelieving.

"I, just, it's... complicated." She frowns with a mighty pout. Small wrinkles mar her forehead.

"Understatement much?" I mutter trying to regroup my thoughts.

Catching me off guard, Elena grabs my shirt and attacks my mouth with a searing kiss. When I say searing, I mean to say that she's kissing my lips off. I barely have a chance to get over my initial shock that she's actually kissing me, let alone, react in time. She pulls back with a stunned expression on her face as if she's seen a ghost. Both of our lips are equally swollen.

She's completely frazzled.

"Elena…" I say in a breathy voice so unlike me.

"Isobel said you loved me. She wanted to know why I hadn't picked you _instead_ of Stefan. I never told her why. I wasn't_ ready_ to tell her why. I don't know, it was too much, then she had to say that I was doomed. Maybe I am doomed. I don't want to be doomed. It isn't fair. I'm 17 years old. How am I supposed to know any of this yet?" Elena babbles in a rush tangling her fingers in her hair like a crazed person.

I almost had a hard time following along. All I know is she never said what Stefan has that _I_ don't.

"Everything is messed up." She frowns calming down, taking a deep breath. "I probably just messed up more. It's, just, what am I doing? Here with you, like this?"

I see panic flash across from her face. In a clumsy stumble, she jumps across me and off my bed. She rushes to my door with record speed. It takes me a second to react, but I corner her in the hallway.

Elena slams hard into my body almost causing her to fall over. She's startled by my abrupt appearance. I don't give her a chance to do anything. I toss my arms over her shoulders, pulling her close to me, so she can't get away.

"Elena, I love you…" I confess finally. I never thought I'd say it to her again.

"I love you because you're the only person that's ever cared for me."

I roll my eyes.

"… that wasn't 'obligated' to." I add thinking of my Mother and possibly _Stefan_ at times. "Because you don't assume the worst of me, even though you really should. Because you're brave and I really like that too, as much as I say that I don't."

Elena's wide eyes remain staring at me without showing much reaction to my words. In all, this isn't too unlike the last time in her bedroom.

I lean in and she stiffens in my arms, probably because she thinks I'm going to kiss her, but I don't. I know it's not time for that.

"Because… because you make me feel human." I say my last reason quietly, against her cheek. I didn't have the strength to look her in the eyes and say it. That would have been too much.

There's a brief moment of silence, before it breaks with the sound of her tears.

I wasn't expecting her to cry.

This is most unusual. And strange for me.

I'm _terrible_ when it comes to dealing with crying women. I always have been, of course, not counting when I wanted them to cry for me...

Elena wraps her arms around my torso and continues to cry against my chest. She's fucking sobbing. I simply pet her hair unsure of what to do.

Without warning, she pulls back, trying to rip away from my embrace. Obviously, she can't leave me, I'm much too strong for her tiny force.

"Damon. Let me go." She pleads with a choked voice.

"Tell me what's wrong." I reply in a normal voice, even though I'm on edge about the situation.

She shakes her head in protest.

"Elena. Why are you crying?"

"I can't tell you. I won't." She says squeezing her eyes shut. "Please. Please let me go." She pleads in a voice that I've never been able to deny. My Achilles heel.

I huff in frustration. "I'll let you go if you promise to not leave the house."

"I promise." She replies instantly and I unhook my arms.

She takes off running, no doubt in the direction of my baby brother's room.

This didn't go as I thought it would.

No, scratch that, what the hell was I thinking? Story of my life. Nothing _ever_ goes as I have in mind.

Alcohol.

I need lots and lots of alcohol. At least with Elena safe in the house, I feel at ease to carry on as usual. There's been enough Goddamn melodrama for one night.

Two hours later and a bottle of bourbon later, the missing-in-action boy wonder finally comes home.

"Stef." I greet seriously. "Where the hell have you been?"

"With Bonnie." He sighs, taking off his hoodie, tossing it like a teenager.

I raise a brow wondering about the latest news. I haven't heard anything since I left Judgy and Jeremy at the old witch house. I still can't believe Emily was such a jerk to me.

Stefan grabs a tumblr and pours a drink from _my_ alcohol stash. A scotch. I should have predicted his choice, it hasn't changed once in 3 decades. He takes a seat in the sofa chair to the right side of me.

"Bonnie's spell works. She's got a lot of power." He informs me looking impressed. "And best of all, we're the only ones who know."

"That literally makes Bonnie our secret weapon." I say smirking at the much-needed good news.

Stefan makes an air toast before leaning back in the chair. Man, he's looking old. I shudder slightly at the thought. 'Cause if he's old, then I'm older…

"Elena's here." I finally announce in a normal voice.

_'By the way, I saw her naked. I touched her naked. And she kissed me.'_ I do an internal happy dance while keeping my cool demeanor.

"She's here?" Stefan frowns. "When did she get here?"

"A few hours ago." I say nonchalantly.

Stefan looks troubled by the news. Good for him.

"You know, she's safer here." I say seriously. "With us to protect her."

He slowly nods in agreement.

"Isobel might have had the right idea with the safe house." Stefan says thoughtfully. "What if…

"We made this the safe house." I finish for him eagerly.

We both share the same smug looks.

"The deed is still in Zach's name." Stefan says sourly, trying to make me feel guilty for the umpteenth time. Come on, the dude was trying to kill me! He likes to conveniently forget that part.

"What's a little paperwork?" I shrug and toss back the rest of my drink.

"You really want to do this?"

"Don't you?" I retort.

Stefan looks pensive. _Surprise, surprise._ "Tomorrow morning, then."

"Our girlfriend's gonna freak out." I say with fake cheer and a big smile.

Like I'm about to let us have a normal conversation for once. Ergo, a perfect dig concerning Elena.

He gives me a standard warning look that never throws me off. "Goodnight, Damon." He says annoyed before walking upstairs.

I stay downstairs waiting to hear if the two lovebirds get into a disagreement. Any mention of what happened tonight?

It doesn't sound like they do. I don't think Elena even woke up.

_Go figure._

I rescue the girl.

And Stefan climbs into bed with her.

What else is new? Not much.

* * *

_A/N: You'll know soon enough why she was crying in the hallway. D/E smut soon too. - So I'm going to write more related AU what-if &/or missing moments between Damon & Elena from late Season 2. Hey, maybe I can finish this week. That would be nice. **Be Good & Review!**_

_PS: My buddy Mayghaen17 is the master of episode manipulation. Read her story 'One Kiss', if you haven't. ;) The tvdrecs community at LiveJournal is accepting nominations for the **fanfiction awards** until May 7th. Go support your favorite authors and stories please._


	5. Send Us A Blindfold, Send Us A Blade

_I was a blindfold never complained_  
_All the survivors singing in the rain_  
**_I was the one with the world at my feet_**  
_Got us a battle, leave it up to me_

_What it is and where it stops nobody knows_  
**_You gave me a life I never chose_**

**_I wanna leave but the world won't let me go_**

.

.

.

Is it already 5? Fuck, I don't even know what time it is. I do know that the sun is starting to come up. I remember back when I first turned, how it used to totally freak me out that my body knew when the sun was rising. It's like a generic-brand Spidey Sense that's included in the vampire package. I always just _know_, I don't even have to look outside to see. I can feel the sun on my skin, which I imagine must be terrifying for vampires without daylight rings. _Sucks to be you, man._

Let's cut the bullshit, I'm groaning because I'm a total wreck despite having all of my limbs intact. After Stefan came home earlier in the night, I never went back upstairs to my bedroom. I just stayed down here drinking and thinking. When I think too much, I drink too much, this is a fact of my life. _What can I say?_ I couldn't possibly sleep after Elena kissed me. I still can't believe that kiss. I always knew that the girl had spirit, but hot damn! I repeat, the kiss was searing. _Searing: sudden plus intense, how did she think I'd end up feeling_? She's got me out of control and this is never a good thing.

As much as people tell me I'm impulsive, I know the truth better than anyone because I have to deal with controlling myself every day. Here's the deal, in 1864 anyone would have described me as _passionate_, which could have been interpreted either good or bad. Being passionate as a vampire? Well, it's hard for me to find the good in the trait. I have these urges that overcome me until they paralyze me as if I can't walk unless I do something about it. When I'm having a bad day, it isn't just bad, it's earth shattering.

You know Elena is always preaching about how much I should learn to feel again, but she doesn't get it. I don't want to feel, if there's nothing_ good_ to feel. Tonight is a perfect disastrous example. I did it, I told her why I loved her like she asked and then she cried. _Cried!_ Why is it never enough? What am I doing wrong? Even back in the day with The Evil Slut Vampire, saying I love you just hadn't been enough. Not for me at least.

I laugh darkly realizing how pathetic my life has become. For all that's impure's sake, I'm old enough to know that real life _isn't_ like the movies, if it was I'd have three wives or sparkle, but like an idiot - I'm still waiting for my moment. The moment where the guy tells the girl that she's the one for him and her eyes go wide before falling into his arms.

_I growl because I hate this feeling!_ I hate being a hopeless romantic! It just sucks in a not good way. How did I let this happen to me? Why can't I just accept that I'm _not_ meant to be loved? You'd think with decades of experience in heartache that I'd actually get a fucking clue and move on. Instead I could play a sport or whatever else guys do without women meddling.

It's getting harder to fight my anger as I reach the end of the Wild Turkey bottle, so I think it's time to split instead of starting on another bottle. My head rambles off the possibilities for me to do in this shitty small town. The list is short. At the top is visiting Andie to blow off some steam with lots of sex. Good ol' sexual release can do wonders. Now that sounds like a plan, I tell myself, trying to convince myself as I stand up to leave the parlor.

My head is all over the place to the extent that I don't actually anticipate running into Elena before I bump into her in the hallway.

Wait, Elena? Dear Powers That Be, please don't let this be a sick hallucination.

"You scared me." She says out of breath with a glare. If I wasn't in such a foul mood, I'd laugh my ass off at her expression. I scared her without even trying. Mad props to myself.

I don't bother replying as I shamelessly scan her body. She's dressed in the same tiny pajamas, just without the robe. A part of me wants to ogle her forever, the other part wants to kill her for torturing me like this. _Undead life sucks._

My keen senses pick up that Elena smells like sweat, but not the fuck your brains out kind. Nope. Can't smell Stefan on her. Plus I didn't hear them have sex, so I'm positive there might be some semblance of hope after all.

"What happened?" I ask realizing she's shaken up. And there I go again, caring for her on reflex as if it's _my_ responsibility. I'm not her boyfriend, she doesn't want me to be her boyfriend, she's made this perfectly clear several times.

"Nightmare." Elena answers flatly.

I stare down at her waiting to hear more.

"I just wanted some water." She says tiredly, wiping her sweaty forehead.

"Oh." I reply absently in understanding and move out of her way, so she can walk into the kitchen.

Against my better judgement, I decide to follow her into the kitchen instead of heading to Andie's apartment. What can I say, I'm a slave to our fleeting moments; I'm a masochist at best. My slightly tipsiness gives me confidence which I shouldn't be able to muster otherwise.

Here I go, I casually take a seat on the barstool at the island and watch her greedily drink a large glass of water. After she's done, she fills it up again, but drinks it at a normal pace. I watch as she wipes more sweat off her neck, truth be told, she really doesn't look too good. When she turns around, she doesn't expect me to be in the kitchen with her. I accidentally startle her and she almost drops the empty glass in her right hand. It's cool. I catch it before it falls, but deja vu runs through me doing so, I reckon it might've for her too. History does have a nasty habit of repeating so I've heard.

"I didn't see you there." She rolls her eyes, not scared, just annoyed at me.

I offer her a light shrug. It happens... Vampires don't make noise when we walk unless it's intentional. Just another reason why we're the perfect predator.

Elena glances at me for a second and then turns to the pantry cupboard near my right side a few feet away. She bends down rustling in it, of course I stare at her cute little ass. She eventually settles on a box of Pop Tarts after much contemplation.

"I was wondering when you were going to eat those." I remark sarcastically without much pep. "I only bought them like a month ago."

Elena looks up at me shocked while mid-opening the foil wrapper. "You bought these?" She asks as if she's seen a ghost.

Her eyes are a little watery, what's up with her tonight? I can't take the drama, my unbeating heart is tired of working at full capacity.

I roll my eyes. "Who else would? The magical kitchen leprechauns? The food has to get here somehow..."

She's still a little pale.

"Stefan never grocery shops." I add with a pointed glare. Honestly, he can be so elusive sometimes. "Or cleans."

I fucking_ hate_ that I'm the only one ever cleaning the rugs or dusting shit, nevermind the fact that I'm super fast. Because that's so not the point, it's the principle of the matter.

Elena looks baffled, but at least she's now back on planet Earth as she walks over to the toaster.

"Hey, that reminds me of something." I say excited suddenly. "You'll be doing chores soon! Don't think I'll give you a free ride just because you're also eye-candy."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Elena asks confused because obviously Stefan hasn't told her yet abut our genius plan.

"Baby bro and I talked... we decided to give you the house."

"You're giving me your house?" She repeats slowly with a bemused expression.

"We need to take some precautions since Klaus knows that you aren't running. Isobel's safe house idea sounds solid to us. So now you'll be able to control who gets invited and who doesn't." I explain with pride. "Although I'll be super pissed if you lock me out."

"Wow." She says shocked and burns her hand on the Pop Tart.

"Yup. A lawyer will be coming over later today to make it official."

Elena simply nods while biting into the Pop Tart that's finally cooled down. _I wish I was that Pop Tart._

She starts to giggle hysterically while chewing, nearly choking.

_Shit._ Did I just say that out loud? It didn't even sound remotely sexy. See this is what happens when I'm tipsy. _Smooth Salvatore, smooth._ Okay, time to smirk and just go with it.

Once she finishes the Pop Tart, she proceeds to lick the sticky strawberry stuff left on her fingers. Is she trying to kill me with this erotic image?

"How'd you know this was my favorite flavor?" Elena asks quietly before starting to munch on the second one.

"Nah-Uh." I reply shaking my head. "Your turn to answer a question for me."

It's time to even the balance between us, I figure. Hey, maybe it will even make me feel better.

Elena looks up at me with her big doe eyes anxiously waiting for my question.

"What happened in your nightmare?" I ask genuinely interested. It's not every night a girl wakes up sweating bullets, I should know, I might as well have a doctorate in nightmares.

Elena groans and I figure she's just not going to tell me. _How lame is that._

"It was so weird!" She laments with a disgusted expression. "I was like a deranged feral vampire..."

What the flying fuck? I muse and purse my lips.

"And..." She continues in a whispered, unsure tone. "And you died... As a human. I visited your grave at night because I didn't have a daylight ring."

"Well, at least you don't have to worry about it coming true." I shrug trying to assure her. "I'm still dead as the undead come."

"Weird. Scary." Elena states looking disturbed before taking a gnarly bite out of the Pop Tart. She's successfully managed to get the strawberry stuff all over her face.

In a few bites, she's finished it, but there's still residue on her face. Before I even have the chance to second guess myself, I walk over to her to wipe her lower cheeks clean. I don't say anything to her in the process. She's looking at me, but in a different way than I'm used to. She's completely frozen with a hushed breathing pattern.

"Right." Elena whispers so low that it's barely a word and more like a moan.

"Hmm?" I reply looking at her expectantly.

"I… " She begins, but falters. "I…"

I unconsciously move closer to her and we were already pretty close to begin with. I'm staring down at her lips waiting to hear what she's trying to confess.

My eyes go wide, way wide, when she jumps me. Elena Fucking Gilbert just jumped me. She's lost it.

Her arms are around my neck, her legs are wrapped around me, and most importantly her lips are on mine in another _searing_ kiss. Obviously being a vampire and all, she didn't knock me over or anything and holding her isn't taking any effort, but I'd like to actually know what the fuck is going on. Therefore acting rationally like I seldom do, I _don't_ kiss her back, but attempt to pull away from her. It quickly becomes a very messy situation, so I settle on sitting her on top of the island, but her legs won't let go of me. When she realizes that I'm completely refusing to make out with her, she does pull back with a raging blush covering her face.

"Elena." I say glaring, I can't help it. It's been a rough night.

"What?" She knows what I mean. It's time for her to say something to justify her extremely bipolar actions.

"Right…" She starts again. "I."

I glare getting increasingly annoyed knowing how easily I could rip her away from my body. "You're going to have to give me more than those two words."

"Right, you're right!" She exclaims, almost loud enough for me to worry that she's woken Stefan up. I listen carefully, but I don't hear any movement upstairs.

"Yeah. Okay. About what?" I grit out. I've never wanted to shake someone so badly in over a century.

"You're right." She says in a normal tone with a bemused expression.

"Right about what?" I'm close to growling now.

"No… No… No… you don't understand." She shakes her head with a small smile.

Of course I don't understand, you're barely saying anything at all and expecting me to fill in the blanks of your very confusing brain.

"You're right. You're the right choice." She says. "I feel awful for realizing it too late."

I'm officially intrigued, but still confused nonetheless.

"The reason why…. why I was crying." She says looking down for a moment before looking back up at me. "I think I didn't want it to be true, because honestly, it's all sorta... sad."

I think I might throw up. And vampires don't get nausea.

She thinks it's sad that I love her? _Ugh._ In earnest, I'm trying to get away from her, but her legs wrap around me tighter making it clear that she wants to keep me close. I'm tired of this sick game. It isn't right for her to walk all over me. And I shouldn't let her do it either….

"I should have known." She says dejected. "That Stefan loved me for all of the wrong reasons. And you loved me for all of the right reasons."

Excuse me? I'm sure my expression mirrors how shocked I am by her confession.

"Damon. I feel awful." She pouts.

"Why?" I manage to ask, tenderness returning to my body.

"I'm fated to die." She states eyes brimming with tears. "I'm going to die. There's nothing I can do to stop it. I've come to terms with it."

I shake my head in disagreement, but I don't interrupt her.

"I'm going to die before we ever got our chance at this." She says hugging me. "Whatever this is between us."

It takes me a moment to pull myself together and reply.

"You're not going to die." I say petting her hair. "I'm going to find a way to protect you. You know that. I can't lose you."

"There isn't another way." She replies crying a little. "I have to die or Klaus is going to kill everyone that I've ever loved."

I feel a tide of anger come over me and I rip Elena from my chest to make her look at me. I wipe the tears from her face. "Elena. I'm going to find a way to save you. I need you to trust me."

Elena simply sighs, but doesn't reply. At least she stopped crying.

I hold her face in my hands for a few moments and I can't stop thinking about how differently she looks at me now. Even though she didn't outright say it, I wonder if this means she can find it in her heart to love me back. Suddenly it occurs to me that we should get back to making out. Surely she won't reject me anymore, at least I hope so I think while leaning in.

And for once in my life, it's all magic from here... feeling her lips on mine. Feeling both of us on the same wavelength at the same time. We're both kissing each other at equal fever and I didn't know it was possible to feel this good. I've done more kissing than most in a lifetime, but this is another beast entirely. This is the buildup of emotions finally coming to a head. One of my hands sneaks under her pajama tank to rub her back and she moans as I stroke her softly.

Reluctantly, I pull back realizing we have to stop if she's going to keep moaning like that. While it's the ultimate music to my ears, whether I like to admit it or not, I actually care that Stefan is sleeping upstairs. _What a mess._

Elena looks deeply confused about why I stopped and she's trying to get me back in action by mouthing my neck, which just makes me groan in sexual frustration.

Fuck My Life.

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_A/N: First of all, sorry about not replying to reviews & PMs, my real life has been hectic as hell. But I shall message everyone back on Monday. Next chapter is just epic smut. **Any guesses for the location of the smut?** They're not gonna get it on the kitchen island, haha. Elena's actions/feelings will be explained in detailed a little later once they have another chance to "talk". - Wow, what a last episode. I tried so hard to get this out soon, because I thought you'd all like a little pick me up. Speaking of… **if you want to hear my boyfriend parody Damon,** check out my LiveJournal (user: junkyatbest). How I love my muse! He's the best bad boy (wow, that was cheesy, even for me). **Be Good & Review!**_


	6. Torture Me

_Quick response to reviews: Elena is different than I normally write her. Just remember that she's ready to die, but wants to be with Damon before it happens. So, yeah, she's a bit irrational and impulsive. Alright, without further adieu, the smutty treat. :)_

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_I've got to **bite** the hand; so if I find a piece of mind, torture me.  
__If I seem too serene,** torture me**.  
__Torture me with **all** I've wanted when I am surrounded.  
__Torture me with all I've wanted.  
Torture me._

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Trying… Trying… Trying so hard to concentrate right now. _What was it that I needed to do?_ It's not an easy task to think logically when the love of my life is pressed up against me, wrapped around, making sweet love with her mouth to my neck. I humiliate myself as I purr in bliss, she giggles enjoying the soft vibrations on her skin as a result. She continues to giggle in between nipping at my neck. _Yeah, okay sweetheart - laugh it up, you're exploiting me now._ I'm not human therefore I purr, having little to no control over it since it's packaged with my other base instincts. Somehow Elena has managed to win the heart of the demon inside me, I'm not even sure when that happened. Guess I love her entirely that way. My gums ache in a desperate plea to claim her in the most primal way, to mark her as mine.

But I can't bite her, because she's not mine. _Right._ I'm back on track with my thoughts finally. We can't be doing this, not now, not while my baby bro is upstairs sleeping. I lift her off the counter and she uses my distraction as the opportunity to capture my lips. _Oh, her sweet luscious lips!_ Her kiss is hungry and fierce. She bites down on my lower lip, hard enough to cause my face to shift partially. The darkening veins around my eyes don't deter her, in fact she doesn't even react in the slightest bit. It's almost as if she wants the demon side of me to take over. Instead of pulling back, her hands tangle in my hair to keep me from pushing her away. She's pulling my hair so hard that I'm actually blindsided and walk right into the refrigerator.

What is this girl doing to me?

As I get a grip on the situation, quite literally so, I press her harder against the fridge. She's trapped against it now. She lets go of me for a second, geez -it's about time she needed to take a breath. Her eyes are hazy and heavy as she looks at me, as if she's intoxicated. I see her eyes squint slightly taking note of my face as my eyes return to their human shell. She smirks, looking too proud for my liking. It reminds that I need to figure out what's going on. If this is some kinda game, then I'd like to know now.

Elena's lips attempt to capture mine, but I successfully dodge her. It doesn't faze her as she settles for taking my right lobe in her mouth.

"Elena." I say firmly. "What are we doing here? Exactly?"

"You." She murmurs the answers.

Did she really just say that? My frustration takes over.

"I'm serious." I say prying her off me, pinning her against the fridge door by placing my hands on her shoulders, using my supernatural strength.

You'd think she'd freak out a bit for attacking her. A normal girl would be a little nervous that I could break her in two with a flick of my wrist, but not my Elena. Go figure that she actually looks amused that I had to resort to using brute force to calm her down. Now with her lips at least a foot away, I'm hoping that I'll get the right answers.

"Elena." I say hoarsely with an edge of a predator's warning.

That stupid smirk is still on her face as she replies. "You. I want you."

I groan as a mixture of emotions run through me. It's becoming hard for me to tell the difference between wrong and right, seems like moral plight has indeed returned in full force.

Her big brown eyes are pleading with me. "Please. It's all either of us wants. You love me, don't you?" She states almost out of breath.

That's it. All reason has vanished. I free her from my constraints and attack her mouth. She moans in response and grinds against my raging hardon. I catch an unneeded breath and shush her waving a finger in front of her mouth.

"Taking you upstairs. Hold on." I state in a voice that commands her to be quiet. I know my eyes are telling her _why_ we have to be quiet. (Technically this is all her fault for dating Stefan when she should have been dating me from the start, but there's nothing we can do to change the past.)

I zoom upstairs with her in my arms, but I have to stop momentarily because my door is closed. Elena looks like she has whiplash, she probably does. I quietly walk in my bedroom and her eyes land on my made bed. I think she understands now that I never went to bed last night. I reach out and turn her face toward me and kiss her, which promptly snaps her attention back to me. I walk over to my large walk-in shower with her in my arms as my lips continue ravishing her.

In the shower, I pull away to set her down. I smirk as she refuses to loosen her legs around my waist. I don't want to do it by force, so I have to capture her focus. "Elena, you're gonna have to let go, unless you're hiding some magical power that'll undress us both in this position." I whisper in a patronizing tone, raising a brow at her.

Elena's eyes dart around and take in our surroundings. "Why?-" She's about to shout something at me, but I cover her mouth with my hand.

"Stefan." I say tersely.

She swallows thickly and I'm wondering if she's gonna come to her senses and pull a 'just kidding' on me. But she doesn't say anything or do anything, she's still locked around my waist.

"Unless you _want_ him to hear?" I ask bewildered a little. "But personally, I'd rather not go there. I've grown out of my 'make Stefan uncomfortable by fucking around him' phase."

Elena's brows furrow at my words and she punches me! She punched my shoulder. It didn't hurt, but it did take me by surprise a little. Before I can come up with a snarky reply, she unhooks her legs and drops down to the floor. I'm waiting for her to run off, but she doesn't. She simply removes her tank and shimmies out of her tiny shorts.

I love her breasts they're perfect. I'm studying every details of her plum colored nipples. I didn't exactly get a good look when I saw them earlier, what with the saving her life thing.

Elena rolls her eyes at me and shakes her head a bit. _I'm gawking, aren't I?_ Fuck. I'm turning into a teenage boy that's going to hook up with his crush for the first time and the pathetic part is I _never_ went through that 'awkward' phase. I've always been a casanova, ever since dear father brought-.

Hello there!

Elena's hands are on my belt.

Yeah, that's enough to make me go blank for a second.

My eyes return to her breasts.

It's almost clinical the way she's undoing it. There isn't a hint of emotion on her face and she isn't even looking at me as she pulls it away from my waist, throwing it aside, over the shower's boundaries joining the pile of her things. My eyes dart at the pile and I think this is the way things were always supposed to be.

Woah.

My head snaps back to her hands as she caresses me through my jeans. She's got a mischievous expression on her face now, no doubt pleased that she made me jump a bit. _Right._ That's enough screwing around and time to get to the screwing the 'girl of my every dream and waking fantasy' part.

I'm back in action as I gently remove her hands to shed my jeans and boxers in a flash. Her breath hitches seeing me fully naked. She likes what she sees, who am I kidding? She loves what she sees. There's a grin on my face as I slam her back against the wall. I quickly bend down to remove her lacy underwear. Lacy periwinkle-colored boy shorts, I memorize photographically in my head for jerking off later.

I'm still grinning as I stand back up straight to match the other part of me that's standing up straight. Except this time, I'm grinning because this is really happening and I'm going to rock her world. My right hand reaches to start the shower. I set the water at maximum power and turn on the bathroom fan. The pleasant buzzing sound that fills the bathroom reassures that we can get away with this. A part of me feels guilt. Is this guilt? It's been awhile. I'm about to fuck my baby brother's girlfriend right under his nose, but I push any fleeting remorse away. _She_ wants this. _I_ want - no - need this. So it's about time I get the girl for once.

Elena is momentarily distracted by the water pouring at full blast. I have excellent water pressure, of course. Her eyes are closed enjoying the relaxing sensations on her skin.

The warm air, hot water and the sight of naked Elena is all that I can ask for and more, a true hedonistic experience.

Elena's eyes open feeling my body press completely against hers. She moans a little in satisfaction. We begin to make out furiously, but silently. I give her a little smirk and wink before kissing cheek. My lips make a trail down her jaw and all the way to her neck, worshipping every surface available to me. She seems to already be enjoying it as I feel her body tremble during intervals.

I continue my pursuit down her body, heading south. When my lips make it to her breasts, she lets out a little cry and I give her a warning look. I mean, the shower's sounds are only going to muffle so much, let's not push our luck. She gets it, because the next time I look up at her, she's biting her lip looking quite uncomfortable - in a _good_ way of course. It's really amusing watching her try to keep quiet. She tastes wonderful - no - wonderful is too colorless of a word to describe the angel before me.

I push all of my worries aside and just concentrate on what I'm doing. I have to take this opportunity, so I can always remember it as the day Elena gave herself to me on her own free will. The day Elena actually asked for _me_.

Speaking of… Elena says my name through ragged breaths in encouragement. Her fingers tread through my hair, absently massaging my scalp. My eyes shut briefly in satisfaction.

As I remove my lips away from her breasts, I get down on my knees and palm her breasts, while trailing kisses down her ribs and perfectly flat stomach. My face shifts, allowing my fangs to elongate and I gently nip at her dainty hip bones. I don't draw blood, but she does jump in reaction. She doesn't make any motion showing that she's nervous to see me vamped out. I continue to nip at her just allowing the tiny bits of pressure to act as an acupuncture of sorts. I know it's working to my advantage, as with every nibble, she turns into liquid in my arms. All of the tension has been removed from her body. Her lazy limbs would have long ago collapsed if it weren't for me and the wall supporting her.

"Damon…. Please… Damon…." She moans in a needy voice. I know what she wants and I'm prepared to satisfy her fully.

"Bite down on your fist." I order, looking up at her, from my position still on my knees.

Elena looks at me warily, possibly thinking she heard me wrong, but I give her a look of seriousness to sway her.

When I see that she has indeed gagged herself, so to speak, I grab her thighs and lift her up. I hear a muffled cry from her, which turns into a muffled moan as I make her straddle my shoulders and give her clit a quick lick. I chuckle lightly, hearing her punch the shower wall and tremble in my arms. She's so wound up and it's all for me to enjoy.

I pull her a little closer to lick along the exposed cleft, tasting her properly for the first time. I swirl the nectar that I swallowed around my mouth. She tastes like the sweetest orange and I just happen to_ love_ oranges.

I smile blissfully before placing my tongue along her tender slit. Her nectar is flowing freely, it's such a turn on to know how hot I make her. My tongue shifts up to her puffy pink clit and I assault it, her body shakes in delight. It's all the encouragement I need to continue stimulating her, this time I gently nibble at the nerve-filled bud. Elena moans loudly from the action and her hand immediately returns to her mouth to stifle the outcry. Knowing I'm making her go crazy only makes me work harder, this time alternating between tongue and teeth. I spread her legs a little wider, so I can deliciously lap her fully from top to bottom.

Then without warning, a sudden cry of relief escapes around the fist Elena has pressed against her mouth. I hear her desperately trying to keep quiet as more of her nectar floods my face. I hear her head knocking back against the shower's wall. I wish I could see her beautiful face as she cums, but soon enough, soon enough I will.

Elena's thighs are squeezing my head in a vice like grip. It's a good thing I don't have to breathe as she suffocates me and drowns me in her nectar. I try to lick up whatever I can before the shower washes it away from me. Now that I've tasted her, I know that I'll never forget the flavor.

Once the orgasmic tremors subside Elena, her thighs relax around my face. Now with generous allotted room, I'm able to down anything left until my whole face is covered in her nectar. As I do this, she continues to make these sexy moans of satisfaction. When I'm finally satisfied with my efforts, I gently pluck her body off me and bring her down to stand on the shower's floor. There's a goofy sated expression on her face as she relaxes against the wall under the fierce water.

I pin her against the wall and both of my hands glide lazily down her sides. I'm just touching and enjoying her, for the sole reason that she's allowing me to play with her. Her body is flawless to the touch.

Elena's hooded eyes meet mine with a look that I can't quite describe. She looks down between our bodies and finds my hard, weeping cock anxious for her attention. I smile when she throws her arms around my neck, pushing our bodies closer. I like making her remember that _she_ initiated all of this and that's why I'm not already buried inside of her, as much as I'd like to be.

She playfully grinds against me, considerably pleased by how my muscles tense from the teasing. At least now she knows why I'm so cocky, I smile down at her. I want to remember her like this, so enflamed and consumed by lust for _me_.

Elena hotly presses her lips against mine in a savage kiss. Her hands are pressing on my cheeks in a tight, possessive hold that's making me go crazy. She's making me feel like I'm precious to her. She's absolutely writhing against me, so I shove her against the wall, her head twists back in surprise. I dive in to suck at her stretched neck, the temptation is calling me worse than Eve's red apple. Without preamble, her right hand wraps around my cock and she begins to stroke me up and down. I choke a little.

In flash of motion, I hold her arms to the wall to prevent her hands from wandering, my eyes watch the display of emotions across her face. A part of me wonders if she's afraid of me or if she's regretting any part of this morning. Elena stares at my lips, her own are parted and she's breathing heavily. A pleasant rosy blush is covering her face.

"Did you get what you wanted?" I whisper flatly and anxiously await for her reply.

She shakes her head and thrusts her hips against my throbbing cock.

"Hmm?" I tease, tilting my head at her and put some distance between our bodies.

"Damon." She coos in a voice that's dangerous enough to make me unload right now.

"Elena." I mock back at her.

"C'mon." She pleads in annoyance.

"C'mon, what?" I throw back at her, because she has to say _something_ of consequence.

Elena groans against my tight grip, desperately trying to break free, but it's pointless.

"Damon. Let me go." She bites out angrily in a way that I'm used to hearing her ask things of me.

I let go of her innocently. It's not like I ever wanted to make her mad, especially when she's needy and wet in my shower of all places.

In less than 5 seconds, Elena jumps into my arms and I catch her easily enough. Her legs are wrapped around my waist, her skin is so slick that she fumbles in an attempt to lock her ankles behind me. The feel of her soft thighs encircling my waist is wonderful enough to make me wanna write a sonnet in Italian.

Elena's lips are on mine, roughly biting down on me. She's devouring me with these brutal kisses. Just as I follow into rhythm of her explosive display, her lips leave my lips and begin to crazily pepper my face. Moving they go on and on, until she bites down on my neck hard. I unintentionally growl at her, but it doesn't stop her.

"Damon." She breathes loudly in between bites.

"Yes, Elena?" I reply, attempting to maintain some composure and not turn into Jello.

She's latched onto my earlobe, biting it, sucking it, before she whispers to me. "I want to feel you deep inside of me."

My eyes roll back at her words, never did I imagine hearing her say something like _that_.

Elena bites down harder on my neck. "Your fangs." She demands.

That request alone is enough to make me frenzy in hunger.

"Your dick too. Possibly both at the same time." She adds as if she's talking about football scores, but also runs her nails down my arms.

Elena tilts her head at me anxiously waiting for a reply to her demands.

_Enough words._ My lips cover hers.

I push against her, wetting the head of my cock, God - she feels so hot. Elena whimpers impatiently trying to pull herself closer and I push to the hilt of her. Her eyes go wide and she exhales loudly. She's so tight. She's wet, outside and inside against me.

Elena is gnawing at her lip trying to hold back a scream as I fill her completely. Fuck, I've never known anyone that's felt this good.

Feeling her nicely stretched around me, I slowly begin to thrust up into her. Every sensation is hitting me at once and from the looks of it, Elena is right there with me. The feeling of her nails clawing into my shoulder muscles is heavenly as I increase the force of each thrust. With each thrust, I study her face closely to see which angle gives me the biggest reaction. I'm evil, but I _want_ to watch her muffle her screams. I want to make her scream.

Elena's eyes are half-closed, somewhere else, beyond the point of asking me to stop, because I'm past the point of where I would comply. She asked for crazy vampire sex, then that's what she's going to fucking get!

I pull almost all the way out of her dripping warmth and then slam into her, so hard that her eyes pop wide open and meet mine. Elena's head rolls back as I plunge into her once again. Her hips are thrusting, desperately meeting me each time. I push her back against the wall to gain additional leverage and change the angles of my thrusts.

No longer caring if I bruise her back in the process, I'm gonna thrust into her until she climaxes again. She's shaking as I slam into her g-spot relentlessly. She muffles her scream by biting down on my shoulder. Nothing can stop me from taking her over and over, not when I've waited so long for this. I'm gonna slam into her until _nothing_ but the sounds of us can get inside the anxieties in my head.

As my own release edges on, I can only hear the roar of her blood pumping through her veins. It's singing to me. My jaw burns as I work to finish this. I know it's time now. Watching my face shift before her, she knows it's time too, she instantly offers her neck to me. I hold back, just barely, right until her body quivers once more.

"I love you." I say firmly and plunge my fangs into her. Elena has a hard time stifling her screams of pleasure as I greedily drink from her.

Fuck.

It doesn't get any better than this.

Elena's essence drips down my throat while I slam my pubic bone against hers until she nearly collapses around me in sweet agony. I can only see flashes of white exploding behind my eyes. I cum so hard and it takes _all_ of my self-control to stop drinking. Her muscles contract around my cock to squeeze every drop out of me.

When I make it back to reality, I notice that there's a cold sweat on Elena's body, meaning she needs some of my blood ASAP. I bite into my wrist and offer it to her, but she resists.

"I'm sorry, baby." I pout and push my wrist against her mouth, forcing her to drink. "But this is nonnegotiable."

Elena's eyes panic for a moment, but she settles down and swallows around me. Violent sensations of pleasure fill my entire body, since she's drinking from me while I'm still deeply embedded in her. I moan in pleasure until I know she's had enough and release her from my tight grasp.

I've never seen her so beautiful than with my blood covering her mouth. Her tongue darts out to catch the excess, making me moan once more. That's enough, if we keep this up, I'm going to be hard again and baby bro will be awake very soon - so that's a definite No-No.

Reluctantly, I pull out of her and make sure she's got some sense of balance before releasing her. I check her neck to make sure my bite has healed.

"Good as new." I say in a tone more chipper than how I feel about letting her go.

Elena nods in understanding. She tries to kiss me, but I dodge her in favor of turning off the water.

Using my handy-dandy supernatural speed, I run around the bathroom to grab a towel to dry off Elena before she even thinks about feeling cold.

She looks at me warmly as I shrug into my thick plush robe.

"So…" Elena starts awkwardly, looking away from my glistening body.

'Dear, that coy act will never work on me again', I think to myself.

"So… Stefan will be awake soon." I say flatly. It's the truth, we don't have time to talk about 'our' relationship.

Elena's eyes widen and she plants one last big kiss on me before sprinting out of my bedroom.

_And that's that_. I groan and flop onto my bed to reflect on the latest events. How am I ever going to be able to act normal around her again? Now that I know what's it's like to possess her wholly. I can still taste her. Her nectar. Her blood.

Now I need to clear my mind to keep her alive... 'cause hell yeah, we're doing that again.

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_A/N: Yummy? Hope so… strange writing sex from a male perspective. Oh, BTW, this story is meant to be Damon's stream of consciousness. :) I know Summer Fairy & __TwistieK_ are appreciating the effort, so that's what matters to me. Just a few chapters left. **Be Good & Review!**


	7. Remind Me Not To Feel A Thing

_Remixed version of 2x18 (The Last Dance)._

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_You could throw me a **bone**_  
_If I get too **close** you wake me up _  
_Remind me softly to **go**_  
_If I forget won't you wake me up _  
_Remind me **not** to feel a thing_  
_Keep the dream tight_  
_I **can't** feel a thing _  
_My dreams are so **tight**_  
_Why **wouldn't** I stand in line tonight?_

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**7 AM, Salvatore Boarding House**

I decide for Elena's sanity and mine too for that matter to keep my distance away from her this morning. I'm trying to concentrate on anything other than the fact that I was inside of her less than three hours, but it's futile. Who am I kidding?

It's still only just sinking in that we had sex, we finally did it. You'd think that I'd be happier, on cloud nine, but I'm not. Why? I don't get to shout in happiness or wrap my arm around her at The Grill simply out of male pride,_ ugh_ - I roll my eyes at the ridiculousness. So what do you call the male version of a homewrecker? I've been here before, that's a given - but it never hurts this bad. Of course, it's because I'm madly, sickly in love with her to the point that I'd give her the world.

Ugh. I can't help myself.

I continue sulking in my bedroom until the lawyer gets here. I looked one up in the Yellow Pages of all places, because I wasn't gonna delay her safety any longer. Plus I bet even a guy with a two bit law degree would be able to secure the house _(that reminds me, didn't Stefan graduate from Harvard Law in '73?)_. Whatever.

When I hear the doorbell ring, I figure it's him, but it's not - it's the judey little witch. What is she doing in my house? I frown remembering that it won't be my house much longer. It's a sad day, that is until my thoughts drift to Elena parading around the house in a kinky little maid outfit. Maybe I could bend her over the...

My naughty thoughts are interrupted as I listen to the conversation happening downstairs.

"Hey, are you alright?" I hear Bonnie ask Elena.

"What? I'm fine. Why?" Elena stammers in reply giving me a smudge of satisfaction that she's shaken up. She's supposed to be shaken up; you don't just walk away from banging your boyfriend's brother. I wonder if she's going crazy wondering where I am or maybe she's praying that she won't have to see me at all.

Their talk shifts to Ric's latest history test meaning it's time for me to tune out.

I smirk wondering if Ric would ever let me substitute for him. Just for shits and giggles. Ric is constantly trying to probe me like a fucking textbook on legs, so I'd say he owes me one. Mmm, imagine all the things I could do as Mr. Salvatore.

The doorbell rings again and this time it has to be the lawyer. Sure enough, my baby bro is taking care of the formalities _("We're so grateful you could come at this hour.")_ Blah, Blah, Blah.

Here we go... I give myself a pep talk, checking my appearance in the mirror before walking out of my bedroom door.

Downstairs Stefan makes avoiding Elena too easy by dragging me aside the second my foot touches the bottom step.

"We better get outside." He comments with a head tilt pointed at the door.

I give him a quizzical look and then he reminds me that Elena is signing the lease to keep certain 'type' out of the house. I nod lamely. I always wondered what it would be like to be a vampire in a house without being invited, but I'm not up to finding that today. There's been enough surprises for one month - scratch that - year.

Just outside yet perfectly within our supernatural hearing range, Stefan and I stand outside the front door. He looks overall comfortable, it's safe to say that he doesn't know anything about his girlfriend's activities.

As we discuss Bonnie and Klaus, my mind drifts off to the woman that made us the men we are today. I can't help it, it's been a hell of a ride.

"Do you think he killed her?" I ask wondering if he's thought of her too.

"Katherine?" Stefan asks automatically knowing the 'her' in question. "Probably."

Hearing him say the words makes it more real. A large chapter of my life is finally over. Pathetically enough, it's actually an overwhelming feeling.

"It's not like she didn't have it coming." I reply. It seems like the Lockwood masquerade was ages ago now, that fatal night when we tried to end it all.

I thought at least one of us would have had the pleasure of witnessing her death someday, but I guess even that bit of closure was too much to ask of her. _Figures_. Bitch never gave us anything, even in the end.

We both look over when Elena opens the door and the stuffy, total twerp lawyer leaves.

"Thank you, Mr. Henry." She says in an uber polite tone I rarely hear.

"I'm sorry. I completely forgot." She jokes looking at us both. She barely glances at me.

"Stefan. Would you like to come inside?" She asks looking at him.

"I would love to. Thank you." He says just to annoy me. I'm sure.

When she finally turns to me, there's a thick tension between us. Her heart skips a beat and I don't think Stefan noticed. A part of me wishes that he'd be more perceptive, but wishful thinking never got me anywhere.

Why hasn't she said anything? This isn't funny.

"What are we, 12?" I ask annoyed.

"One of us is." She replies in a cheeky manner that makes me wanna fuck her until she can't walk. "If I let you in, do you promise to obey the owner of this house?"

"No." I scoff.

I've never been one to play the submissive role. That's Master Salvatore to you, honey.

"Seriously, Damon. My way. You promised. I call the shots. No lies, no secret agendas. Remember?"

"Yes, Elena. Sure." I relent, but don't really mean it. Sure, I technically promised her, however I didn't promise to be manipulated in this way.

"Then please, come in."

_Presto._ Welcome home, I walk through the door.

"Shut up." I mutter seeing the general smugness on my brother's face.

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"No, no, no. We didn't create a safe house for you to leave it." I say protesting the fact that Elena wants to leave.

This girl drives me crazy.

Apparently, Elena and Bonnie aren't going to let this go, I guess we're gonna have to let them go to school. What goody goodies, honestly, any other teenager would be itching for the opportunity to ditch.

When the girls head out, I look at my eternally teenage brother with a knowing look. Hey, he's the one that enrolled in high school, so this one is _all_ on him.

"Wait, um, coming." Stefan calls out lamely to them and leaves me to my lonesome as usual.

* * *

**During School**

My day since the kids left has been as follows: drink, think of Elena, drink, think of Elena, drink while thinking of Elena.

So, just like any other day, right?

_Nope._

Because this time I'm not thinking about what it would be like to kiss Elena, instead I'm _remembering_ what it was like to kiss Elena. What it was like to be inside of Elena, to hear her moan; goddamn - at this rate I'll have a boner for the rest of my undead life.

This sucks.

Oh, hey hey... I welcome the distraction of my cell phone vibrating in my pants.

I choke slightly as I see that it's a text from Elena.

My eyes glance at the time. My best guess is that she's just finished with her lunch about now.

I toss back the rest of my bourbon and slide my screen to unlock, so I can send her a reply.

"Hey." Is all she has for me.

I roll my eyes.

"Hey, yourself." I retort back.

There's a 30 second delay before she texts back.

"Are you okay ?"

I groan in annoyance figuring she must have something more to say to me.

"Yeah. What's up? Just bored in class & can't stop thinking about my hot body? Or..." I prompt.

"There's a dance tonight at school. I like totally forgot." She replies instantly.

I raise a brow wondering why she's telling _me_.

"Then I'm sure Stefan is eager to take you." I text sarcastically.

"Yeah, right." She texts back.

I'm not sure if that's sarcasm?

"I want to dance with YOU!"

I try and ignore the flutter in my chest at the words displayed on my screen. It makes me wanna die all over again.

"Too bad I'm not your BF."

"Damon..."

"Elena..." I mock, there's a scowl on my face.

"Klaus will be there."

Re-reading this message three times, I nearly crush my phone in my hand.

"You're certain?"

"Yes. Will explain more when home." She replies quickly and I guess that means she can't text much anymore.

"Okay. Save me a dance." I reply, giving in to her far too easily. How can I not go to the stupid dance now?

She replies with a heart symbol that I'd rather not read into. She is a teenage girl all the same, this isn't her way of declaring her love for me.

A few seconds pass and she replies one last time...

"Stefan doesn't want to go."

I grumble while leaning my head back against the sofa wondering how I got back into another love triangle with my baby bro. We're sick fucks.

* * *

**After School**

"So we go to the dance, we find him." I state seriously. I've had enough games, especially the kind 'The Original Pain In The Ass' makes us play without a rulebook.

Stefan protests because he _always_ has to contradict me as usual. But I know that he's not going to miss the dance, especially if I'm going to be there protecting Elena at all times.

"Something tells me he's not going to be 16 and pimply." I scoff with a knowing look.

Stefan still isn't convinced and I sorta tune out until I hear a knock at the door.

"There you are." I say because Ric has finally shown up. I texted him over thirty minutes ago. The dude doesn't even have a life, what's his excuse?

"Sorry, I'm late." Ric replies seemingly less apologetic than usual.

"Hey, I need you to put me down as a chaperone at the dance tonight. Klaus made his first move." I demand getting down to business. I figure this is the best way to not deal with compelling townies and instead fully concentrate on spotting Klaus, therefore keeping Elena safe.

We all begin to question Bonnie's powers for a second.

I realize that my plan might be flawed and maybe Bonnie can't take him. Maybe she's overestimating her abilities. "Alaric, has a point. I mean, what if he..." I state getting into vamp attack mode.

The stupid bitch, I mean witch, same difference... Throws me across the room as if I weigh less than lint. _Fuck._ My back feels funny now. Damn girl, doesn't she know that there's a dance tonight? I need my spry corpse at its best.

Once it's only Elena, Stef and I standing in the living room, I figure that we might as well plan for our big night out.

"Don't you need to run home and change for the dance?" I ask motioning to her lack of outfit.

"It's a 60s dance." Stefan answers for her. "I figured she could probably fit into something of Gabriella's or Sofia's."

Gabriella... Sofia... Oh, our deceased nieces or cousins was it? I never had the pleasure of meeting the twins. I spent the decade living it up in New York getting to bang Edie Sedgwick's friend, Nikola Ramsey until she died of a heroin overdose in '71.

I nod in understanding, but I'm distracted thinking of Nikola which just brought back a lot of memories. "Good luck in the attic, you're gonna need it."

They head upstairs and I choose to stay in parlor to grab another drink. I need to take a time out and pull myself together.

It's been a heavy 24-hours. That's for sure.

When I finally head upstairs myself, I instantly take notice of the shower running and its coming from the bathroom across from Stef's room.

Hmm, I think to myself. Mischief is on my mind.

I quickly use my enhanced speed to pop my head in Stef's room to see if he's in there. Sure enough, I spot him opening the boxes from the attic and I leave before he even notices me. Sometimes I'm _so_ grateful that his senses aren't as good as mine, it has seriously counted toward my advantage numerous times over the decades.

I smirk in pure glee now knowing that it's Elena in the shower.

I'm starting to appreciate the fact that Stefan doesn't have a private bathroom like I do _(oh, the luxuries of being the older and much stronger brother)_.

This is almost too easy.

I walk up to the door and give it a twist. It's locked, but nevermind, I of course have the key to it.

I have the master keys to _every_ room in the boarding house. Even the secret rooms and there's quite a few. I made sure to collect all of the keys a long time ago because I'm not fond of surprises and sneakiness; that's not initiated by myself.

I blur from my bedroom and back to the bathroom to open the door.

The bathroom is steaming hot. There's a thick mist covering the mirror.

I think twice about pulling back the curtain on Elena because she might scream. And, well, if she screamed... that could lead to a bunch of no good things.

Instead I ultimately decide to prop myself on the counter in front of the shower to greet her when she's done doing her thing. It's not a big deal, hey, two showers with Elena in one day would have been a little hard to believe.

A few minutes later, Elena continues to softly hum a pop tune by Ke$ha _(girl wrote the anthem to my life)_ and she finally turns off the water.

I remain still in excitement and quietly announce my presence _before_ she draws back the curtain.

"Elena..." I say singing her name a bit.

She gives me the pleasure of hearing her heart race.

So fucking sexy.

Elena peeks out of the curtain, literally only half of her face and she looks at me incredulously. I love that look. I really do.

"What do you think you're doing?" She hisses at me, looking a bit paranoid at the door.

"Thought I'd assist you with any of your needs before the dance." I purr in a seductive tone, flirting with my eyes.

"Cut it out. This isn't funny." She glares.

"I completely agree." I roll my eyes, jumping off the counter and walk to her with a large plush towel in my hand.

I hold it out to her, but take it back the second she reaches for it.

Haha.

"Damon." She growls, only turning me on.

"Come and get it." I say teasingly walking back.

She pouts, but quickly gives in meaning I get to see her luscious wet naked body in all of its perfection.

I decide to not give her _too_ hard of a time and actually hand over the towel.

However, once she's wrapped up all nice and snug, I pull her into my embrace and she gasps in wonder at me.

It's like she's _actually_ surprised.

Her hot and cold act is really something else.

"What do you want?" She whimpers like one of my victims.

"Just a taste." I say innocently.

"No!" She whispers in alarm.

"Get your head out of the gutter." I say rolling my eyes and meet her lips for a chaste kiss.

Now I got her where I want her and she really wants to kiss me, but I won't let her.

It's time for her to know what's it's like to be burning.

It hurts like hell.

She puckers in frustration in an attempt to reach my lips yet she fails every single time.

"Damon..." She moans.

"Ah, Ah, Ah." I chide suddenly letting her go.

She looks so hot and bothered. This is fun.

"You have a dance to get ready for."

"But..."

"Your boyfriend is waiting for you." I scoff in distaste.

She frowns and I almost feel sorry for her.

She hurriedly puts on a long t-shirt and shorts that leave little to the imagination. "You know I never meant for this to happen."

"You started it." I remind her with a knowing glare.

She doesn't say anything in reply, because obviously I'm totally right. After all, she's the one that begged me to tell her that I loved her and make love to her.

"Now it's time for you to finish it." I say and literally push her out of the door.

* * *

**Stefan's Bedroom Before The Dance**

"I love you." I hear Elena declare in a sickeningly mushy voice.

"I want you to tell me that when the night's over." Stefan replies like an actor in a cliche romance movie. It's enough to make me wanna stake myself.

"Any time tonight." I say announcing my presence.

I'm captivated by Elena's eyes on me.

The girl loves my leather pants. Trust me. The entire female population loves my pants.

The whole charade or maybe not charade between the couple is a bit much. I decide it's better for us to take separate cars. Stefan obviously doesn't have a reason to object, but the look on Elena's face leaves me confused.

I don't know what to do with her.

I decide for the rest of the night that I'm just gonna let things roll as needed without over thinking anything. Going with my gut has always been the safest bet for me.

That old proverb about the thinkers being the saddest people alive continues to prove itself to me on a daily basis.

* * *

**Outside The Dance**

I pull up at the high school a little later than Stefan and Elena, just in time to catch some 'epic' teenage drama between Little Gilbert and the witch.

Well, what do you know, I learn there's a 50-50 shot that Bonnie might die while killing Klaus. I have to say this is an interesting turn of events. Glad to know I'm not the only one willing to give up everything for Elena. So now it's time to find out if she can put her money where her mouth is.

"Damon." She calls out, seeing me and also knowing that I heard everything.

"Evenin'" I reply with my signature smirk plastered on my face. She hates the smirk, all the more reason for me to utilize it.

* * *

**At The Dance**

"That was a lame, cheap shot. He's just trying to bait us." I say to Elena because she looks sadly rather stunned as the song Klaus dedicated to her begins to play.

The loser's taste in music makes me wanna gag.

"I know everyone here." She replies warily.

"Maybe he's not here. Just wants us to believe that he is." My brother offers trying to ease her worries a bit.

"It's a party, people. Blend. Let him come to us." I announce as the voice of reason.

I swear, these people, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one _living_ among them; ironic all things considered.

"Good idea." The witch says surprisingly agreeing with me and runs off with Jeremy.

Not that I care, but what a pair.

I decide to visit Ric instead of watching Elena and Stefan dance. I need to keep my emotions in check.

"Let me know if you see anything out of whack." I remind him and ditch him to follow my own advice. It's time to party! I will not be a wallflower. No way, not the way these pants make my ass look.

They're dancing and it looks like Elena is having an alright time.

I jump for joy internally when Stefan literally passes Elena to me on the dance floor. See! She is our girlfriend in the end.

* * *

_A/N: Woo Hoo, updated. This story just doesn't wanna 'die'. It's been sponsored for breast cancer AGAIN, meaning more chapters for you. Hope I can keep this up, cause this is my third time rewriting the direction of this baby. Damon and Elena's dance and the rest of the episode will be in the next chapter. Just letting you guys know, I'll be working on this story and "Say Hello" ONLY for awhile because they're both for charity and I want to finish them ASAP. Wish me luck... **Be Good & Review!**_

_There is a **30 DAY FICATHON** at the Kat & Elijah community and anyone can contribute! Link is on my profile._

_**Second Chances by Lani xo **was deleted by a hacker. WTF is all I have to say. She will continue the story exclusively on LiveJournal. Note: I don't have any other info on this matter._


	8. I Wish We Were Lovers, But

_Remixed version 2x18 (The Last Dance) continued._

* * *

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_I'm **sick**, you're **tired**, let's** dance**_  
_Break to love make lust I know it isn't_  
_I'm sick, you're tired, let's dance_  
_**Cold** as numbers but let's dance_  
_As though it were **easy** for **you** to **lead me**_  
_I could be **passive gracefully**_

.

"How you doing?" I ask Elena, eyeballing her shamelessly for the first time tonight. She looks hot, naturally. But she also looks nervous.

"Um, freaking out a bit. You?" She replies hastily.

"Cool as a cucumber." I say smoothly.

"Come on, remember the last decades ask?" I remind her with a sexy smirk. "The vampires were all, 'ahh!'. And you were all, 'ahh!'." I tease playfully, grabbing her hands and bringing her in close to me. Her smile lights up the room and makes me lose my composure yet true to my word, I remain completely cool.

"Right. And you won." She replies already looking calmer.

"Yes! _We_ did." I reply with a firm expression and continue dancing with her, we move perfectly on the floor. This is how we were meant to be... together.

"You're good at this." She swoons a little out of breath. The look on her face totally turns me on. I love knowing just how much I affect her. It's time to use some of my classic Salvatore inherited charm.

"I've got moves you've never seen." I retort flirting, nearly kissing her forehead, maybe I should have. Nah. I'm not that soft, I tell myself.

Elena giggles sounding absolutely adorable. She looks at me with such hunger and I know where this is heading. At this age, I'm an expert at reading female body language and hers is only thinking of one thing. The other kind of Mambo.

There's a smug expression on my face as she moves in closer to me and she quickly scans the room, probably trying to spot Stefan. I roll my eyes and pull her in even closer so that our bodies are actually touching.

Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

With these tight leather pants on, there's no hiding my boner; it sticks out like a sore- _fucking hell_. My eyes widen feeling her shamelessly rub against me. She finds making me uncomfortable amusing. I know she does by the look on her face. My jaw clenches because this is becoming pure torture. My zipper is tearing into me, damn, doesn't she get that I'm going commando (it's the only way with these pants)?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I curse in my head feeling her small hand reach between us to caress me. I purr instantly and close my eyes. Okay, it's official. This is a shitty situation. I don't want to let her go _or_ cum like a teenage boy in my pantsu _nor_ jack off in the bathroom.

"Stop that." I hiss in frustration.

Her teeth are now scraping my earlobe, guess she chose there because it looks less like she's seducing me and more like she's just whispering to me. While I meant to distract her from Klaus' threat, I never expected _this_ to happen.

"Damon." She says suddenly.

"Hmm?" I reply a little more shakily than I'd ever prefer.

"I never meant..."

"For this to happen." I growl, pulling back. "I know."

"No." She pleads, biting her lip and pulling me back to her. I allow it.

"What I meant to say... mean to say is I never wanted to hurt you."

I chuckle humorlessly and arch my hips against her. "Oh, Elena. But you do and I put up with it. You know I will." I reply emotionless. "Because you know I... you know."

She gives me a weak nod. It's a fact that I'm not bringing up the L-word again anytime soon. I just can't do it. It hurts too fucking much.

I hate how dramatic things have gotten between us. It makes me sour. This was supposed to be a fun night, well not counting the whole Klaus dilemma.

Elena looks at me curiously because I bet that I've become transparent. She can always read me if my walls aren't up. Sometimes even when they are, much to my dismay.

There's a sympathetic expression on Elena's face that makes everything hurt like a little bitch. She looks at me differently now and pulls back, our bodies disconnect and it makes me feel so lonely, it's pathetic - really. I'm aware, trust me.

She surprises me by taking my hand and I allow her to lead me away from the masses of hormones around us. We end up behind the closed bleacher stands. It's fairly dark back here, she must have known it would be. Now I'm expecting another one of our "heartfelt" conversations -slash- fights. Another word isn't said.

Instead, her glorious lips are upon me and I'm hopelessly lost once again. She begins a slow feast as she makes her way from the base of my neck to my cheek to my lips. Our lips meet for one long gentle closed mouth kiss before we can't take it anymore. Her hands dig into my hair and I moan, granting permission for her tongue to enter. The gloss she's wearing is delicious making me groan in approval.

We continue to make out, really adding to the cliche high school dance experience might I mention. I love hearing her heart race as we melt into one. She is responsive to my every touch. I swear her body hums in praise of mine. Her mouth leaves mine to playfully bite down on my neck causing me to moan her name. She nips at me again and again and I begin to gasp. It's not polite to tease a vampire, she should know that by now.

Her hands are everywhere, groping, nearly violating me.

Then there's a break.

My eyes open to see what happened.

I find Elena on her knees and her hands are on my waist.

I realize what she's planning to do and I internally go into a panic. Not to say I'm exactly above getting a blow job in public, because I'm not, but this feels wrong.

Wrong because she's not another sleazy pick up from a bar.

Wrong because she's not my girlfriend.

"Elena. Stop." I say through gritted teeth and grab her hands in a firm hold that's probably too tight, but fuck it, I'm wound up and about to snap, okay?

"What?" She questions. Her big brown doe eyes are enough to make me wanna bite her. "I want to make you feel better."

Wrong because she wants to do it out of some sense of false guilt.

When it comes down to it, I'm not so sure if she should even be feeling guilty. I have a nasty habit of destroying everything I touch. Maybe if I hadn't been so blatantly obvious about my feelings for her, maybe then we wouldn't be sneaking around Stefan's back.

It shouldn't be like this. Not this.

"I'll feel better when I know that I saved you." I say emotionless, dragging her up to my level.

She's silent and I think she realized this is wrong. She looks ashamed.

"I need to go take care of something." I say not willing to meet her eyes and walk away from her, leaving her behind the bleachers.

* * *

I guess I should be happy to no longer be hard as a rock. That last encounter left me numb. Numb is good though. Numb means I'm clear headed. It's easier to concentrate on scheming without those pesky amplified emotions in the way. I prowl around the dance floor because I've got a bone to pick with the witch. I wonder if she'll totally notice that I'm not in a good mood right now. _Maybe. Maybe not._

"May I?" I need to lose Jeremy and the best way is to literally come between them. I steal her away for a quick dance and a little talk, which thankfully she doesn't put up a fight about.

"Careful, Damon. I might start to think you actually care." The witch says snidely.

"We wouldn't want that." I reply in the same tone, but at this point, we both know that I'm capable of being _more_ than a monster. Heaven or Hell help us.

* * *

Sometime passes and I begin to wonder if this guy is all bluff now. A remake of "I Think We're Alone Now" comes on and I figure it's time to boogie. The irony is the song's lyrics are about being involved in a secret relationship with someone. _Why the hell not…_ I easily nestle myself in between two girls with bobbed hairdos. "Oh yeah." I coo in appreciation of the girl grinding into my backside.

Like always, Stefan is a total buzzkill and pries me away from the girls. He interrogates me about Bonnie's odds against Klaus.

"Oh, great. Jeremy told you and of course you told Elena." I scoff.

"Yeah, I told her." Stefan replies unashamed, indigently. "You promised her no more secrets."

"I changed my mind." I say seriously.

He nods at me.

I nod back.

And we're back at each other's throats about the way things need to be handled. However we stop bickering hearing cries in the hallway that sound like Jeremy. _I swear that kid._

We find Jeremy being attacked by a group of idiots and one of them shoots me in the chest with a fucking arrow. Oh, he's dead alright, fucking arrows fucking hurt.

Right before I do him in, Stefan stops me. He explains that the kid is compelled, but that doesn't sway me much. "So?"

"So, the whole thing's a distraction. Go find Bonnie and Elena. I got this. Go." Stefan orders seriously.

_Ugh!_ I really could go for killing someone right now. A much needed tension to be released. I slam the twerp against the locker and make a run for it.

It doesn't take long for me to run right into Elena and Bonnie.

"Go find Stefan. Now." I order Elena.

"Okay." She replies yet still standing there.

"Now." I demand more firmly.

Bonnie and I are left in the hallway. "No. Klaus does not get to win tonight, no way." I look down at her with an unrelenting expression. "You still willing to do whatever it takes to kill him?"

I realize now that we've got to come up with something Klaus won't predict. He wants a dead witch… he's technically gonna get one tonight. I know now what our only option is and also know what'll it do to Elena, but I also know it's for the best.

Quickly, Bonnie and I formulate a dangerous, but solid plan. I leave the witch with Klaus and a few minutes later, Stefan and Elena appear in front of me.

_Fuck._ I was hoping I'd avoid some of this confrontation, but I can't. Of course, I can't. I don't get breaks. I tell them what I can and they sprint toward the cafeteria.

It's obvious by the quietness in the hallway that the show is already_ over_ and I can hear Elena's anguish perfectly from where I'm standing. It's well timed and what Klaus needs to hear, but it's also breaking my heart knowing what I have to do right now.

"Stefan. Get Elena out of here. I'll deal with the body." I order emotionless, walking over to them.

"What do you mean 'deal with it'?" Elena cries out in protest.

I explain to her that we don't need another 'mysterious death' in town.

"This is Bonnie!" Elena says hysterically as if I don't what the witch means to her. She's still gripping the body, not wanting to let it go.

"Get her home. Now." I practically growl at Stefan.

As Elena is dragged out of the room by my baby brother, she reminds me that I'll have to find hers and fill him in on the night's activities.

_Why won't this night already end?_

* * *

As I walk up to my house, I brace myself for the emotional mess that I'm about to clean up inside, but I don't regret a single decision that I made. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. After all, I know Elena's emotional pain is only temporary and it also was a means to an end in this particular situation.

"What did you do to her?" Elena demands rushing up to me.

"Can you please calm her down?" I turn to my brother looking annoyed. I've come to realize that it's _impossible_ to be both the good guy and the bad guy. He'll have to be the one to coddle her. He does it so well. That's his sole function.

"Don't talk like I'm not standing right in front of you." She pleads, motioning Stefan to back away from her.

"Please. Calm. Down." I state again.

"You knew! Didn't you?" She exclaims putting everything together in her head. "You knew if she harnessed all that power, that she would die, didn't you?"

"Yes. Yes, I knew." I answer honestly and succinctly, the way she's come to know me.

Here it comes… she slaps me so fast that I hardly saw it coming.

_Damn._ That's certainly the hardest she's ever done it before, but it doesn't really phase me. I understand why she did it. It's time to confess and all will be right as rain, so to speak.

"... And he wasn't going to stop." I continue explaining why the witch needed to 'die'. "And we weren't going to be able to stop him until he knew she was dead."

I see understanding wash over her beautiful tear-stained face. She's the only woman I know that still looks beautiful with watery eyes.

"He had to believe it." I over emphasize the importance. "She cast a spell. Bonnie's okay."

I walk away from the couple to go upstairs, but Stefan follows my tail. He's all mighty in his proud way believing that he'll be the one that will _never_ purposely hurt Elena.

The truth is sometimes you have to hurt the ones you love because you love them. I did this for her. She knows this. I didn't want to hurt her, but this was the only way.

"I'll even let her _hate_ me for it." I say in spite to Stefan, because he knows just how much I love her. So my words make this all sting just a bit more. Good. He deserves to feel this too.

"But at the end of the day, I'll be the one to keep her alive." I say turning one last time at him. Judging by the expression on his face, I think he finally gets 'it', hell, I hope so. I'm tired of having the same conversation under different circumstances.

At the surface everything is always black and white, he's good and I'm bad, but that's false. That's an easy way to spin us. The difference is… I won't let anything or anyone hold me back from saving Elena, I threw my moral rulebook out a long time ago. So yeah, I'll let him worry about collateral damage.

* * *

Upstairs I'm more than thrilled to change back into regular clothes and down a couple of glasses of my best bourbon in the house. So what if I'm a vampire, I like to rest too.

Coming out of my bathroom, I exhale a little in frustration seeing Elena. She's leaning against my doorway. Well, at least this confirms that I haven't gone completely crazy. I thought I smelled her while I was washing my face and hands.

I'm not up for more grilling tonight. I hope she can tell by my attitude.

"I understand why you did what you did." She says in a calm voice that I wasn't expecting and my reaction is obvious.

She marches up to me in a manner that I've never much appreciated because I know she's going to _scold_ me. Does she realize how ridiculous she looks? Guess not. Considering I'm older than her (by a lot!), she's in no position to constantly be lecturing me.

_Whatever._ "She's the only that can do it." I say flatly, reminding Elena that we don't have any other options when it comes to fighting Klaus.

Elena takes a step closer and we're suddenly only a foot apart. She assures me that we'll find another way to fight Klaus. The girl is stubborn. I'll give her that much.

"I hope so." I say only trying to end the conversation for the night.

There's a change in her body composure and I realize that she's got more to say to me. She plays with her hair, so she must be nervous. For the first time, she apologizes about hitting me. _Is this a sign of progress?_ Hardy har-har.

"Apology accepted." I reply lightly smirking with a glint of naughtiness in my eyes.

She smirks lightly and looks like she's about to leave, but before she goes, I'm going to lay it all out on the line. "Let me be clear about something, if it comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die." I say bluntly. "_I will always choose you_."

Elena freezes a little at my words. But by the look in her eyes, it's obvious that I've made my feelings known to her on this issue. She also knows that I'm not one to back down on my word (when it comes to something that really matters).

She exhales a little and leaves me wondering what her next move will be. For a second, I think we are going to kiss.

_Do I still want to kiss her?_ Yes, yes I do - even after everything she puts me through. God, yes. I have a feeling this will always be the case.

"Goodnight, Damon." She replies simply.

"Goodnight." I reply with a hint of annoyance in my voice.

She pauses for a second and I see her glance at my bed. Then when she glances back from the door, she's still looking at my bed.

_Hmm._

Maybe it's only _just_ occurred to her that she doesn't get to be in my bed. Even if she wants to be.

She's already made her own bed to lay in.

I grumble.

Just because she can't be in my bed, doesn't mean it has to be empty _tonight_… I grin mischievously with a little pep in my step. I'm gonna go pick up the girlfriend for a good ol' fashioned booty call. Fun. That'll distract me.

Sometimes I lie to myself so hard that I almost believe it.

Almost.

* * *

_A/N: Do you also wonder why Damon stopped dancing with Elena? (It wasn't because Stefan came back.) Re-watch the episode, after dancing with Elena, Damon goes up to Bonnie & Jeremy and notice Damon's expression in that scene. It's fairly unhappy, lol. He shouldn't look that unhappy after JUST dancing with Elena, right? (Don't mind my silliness. I'm just having some fun.) **Be Good & Review!**_

_**Follow Me On LJ: badboysarebest(dot)livejournal(dot)com**_


	9. Monster Hospital

_Remixed version of 2x19 (Klaus)._

* * *

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_Monster hospital, can you please release me? _  
_You hold my hands down, I've been bad. _  
_You hold my arms down, I've been bad. _  
_I've been bad, I've been **bad**.  
__I fought the war but the war won._

.

**Salvatore Boarding House**

"Did she just hang up on you?" I question my baby brother after he spoke to Elena. I can't believe she was reckless enough to take the dagger out of Elijah. I'm so not in the mood to deal with his holier than thou attitude, 'respect' me shit. The guy seriously needs to get with the times.

"She did." Stefan confirms making my mind spin in a million directions of how this will play out. Great, more things to watch out for.

"She's lost it." I say earnestly, this has been my conclusion ever since the night that I followed her to the hot springs.

Not that surprising, Stefan and I begin to bicker about how to handle Elena and of course he's being fucking stubborn. He should know by now that just because he's eternally young that it doesn't mean he has to be eternally _naive_ forever too. He then has the audacity to grab me, demanding me to 'back off'.

What the hell does that even mean at this point?

Back off?

Yeah, okay dude, you missed the chance to play the possessive boyfriend role over a year ago.

Elena cares for me - the girl told me herself, so there's no way that I'm going to allow my immature brother boss me around. Fuck that shit. _Back off?_ God, I should have tore his arm off for that 'disrespectful' comment. If it wasn't for me, she would be long ago dead by now. The fact that I didn't pummel him to the ground on the spot proves that I'm growing as an individual. Ha-Ha.

* * *

"You and your _girlfriend_ are calling the shots. I'm just backing off, Stefan." I taunt as he attempts to recruit me to save Jenna with him.

It's time for a dose of some hard loving. He needs to understand what an asset I am to him and not just his sidekick. _I am not the sidekick!_ There's no way I'm taking orders from Stefan. No, instead, the plan is to go on without him. I'm going rogue.

I figure, after I save his girlfriend everything will be peachy between us anyway. Well, peachy as we can co-exist. Notice how I keep saying the 'G'-Word today? I think it's the only way to remind myself that Elena is still dating Stefan despite her obvious feelings for me.

If I'd lose sight of the fact that Elena belongs to Stefan, I'd snap. I swear... You know what I'd do if she were mine? I would kidnap her and put us both on the next flight to... El Salvador or Turkey or Poland. I'd take her anywhere that I could tuck her in safe and love her deeply. I wouldn't care if Klaus wouldn't be able to find her, fuck to solve that I'd kidnap her and not tell a soul, so then Klaus wouldn't be able to compel anyone to reveal our location.

Oh, the things I'd do to her and more, but I can't because she's not mine to take. What the fuck. I must be turning into one of the 'good' guys after all.

I look at Andie and keep chanting in my head 'distraction, distraction, distraction' and decide to drag her along with me for the hell of it.

* * *

**Ric's Apartment**

How the hell does Katherine stay foxy while being held hostage? My eyes continue to scan her from the threshold of Ric's door.

"You owe me and I will collect." I drawl out after she drinks the Vervain that I gave her. It feels good to say those words. I've spent forever being on the bottom end of our relationship dynamic, so I just want to hold some power over her, even if only once.

The real reason why I can't stomach the idea of fucking her brains out is that I'm afraid of my overly active imagination. What if I call Elena's name out in throes of passion or worse? While Katherine knows that I'm in love with my brother's girlfriend, that doesn't mean she needs to know how weak I am for her. No fucking way.

So what else could I possibly want from Katherine? Hell if I know. The little slut will probably run out on me before I even get the chance to collect. Shit.

* * *

**Salvatore Boarding House**

Elena just got back from her adventure with Elijah and now she wants to go back to him? I can't believe this.

"That's twice today you've stood in my way. I wouldn't try a third." I warn Stefan. He's right up in my face trying to look good in front of his girl.

I can't handle watching his foolish decisions. He makes me sick.

I want some quiet time to myself, but Andie pops up in front of me with a tumbler of bourbon and her patronizing words about how she 'knows' I worry about Elena. I don't want to talk about Elena. _Not now._ I just want Andie out of my house and allow me the courtesy of sulking alone.

"Tired of your little play thing, already?" Stefan asks stepping into the room.

"Don't start with me, Stefan." I grumble. "She's just my distraction."

You know what - just for that moronic comment - he's not getting off easily. I decide to ruffle him up about how he should be happy that I'm not going after Elena. It's true. He's been lucky thus far, in all things could be worse between the three of us.

"You know, you can be in love with Elena all you want... If it means that you'll protect her." Stefan finally says the words that have been true all along. "But I have the one thing that you never will."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"Her respect." He states loftily and I've had enough of him.

I punch him so hard he flies into the bookshelf behind him. Oh, fuck, that'll leave a mark on the wood.

Sadly, we don't even get a chance to really get into it, the way we've been holding back on because Elena enters the room and commands us to stop. We're both completely whipped since we actually move away from each other.

Great, just what I need, Elena brought _Elijah_ home with her. This doesn't speak highly of her judgement when it comes to inviting people into our home. I chide her on it immediately in deep disdain.

They claim to have a new deal together. She's really lost it. I'm being perfectly serious.

When I hear 'all' he wants from us is an apology, I'm completely dumbfounded. I don't do apologies, especially not to him. I'm disgusted seeing how Stefan is practically groveling at his feet.

_How many times do I have to say we can't trust the guy?_ We don't know what his motives are! We don't know the guy, period.

"You can all go to hell." I say bitterly.

I can't stand the sights of any of their faces. Their genius ideas make me wanna crack a skull.

I hurry upstairs to the privacy of my bathroom. All I want is some time to myself to think of a new plan. A solid plan to keep Elena safe.

I figure it might be best to take a shower to calm down, so I begin unbuttoning my black Armani shirt.

My senses notice that I'm not alone in the room and I turn to my bathroom to watch Andie stalk towards me in only the black lace lingerie set that I bought her a few days ago. She looks good... but I'm not in the mood. I thought I made myself clear.

When Andie informs that I never compelled her to leave, it makes my skin crawl in shame. While it's easy to compel your girlfriend, it's never fun to hear about it. This whole ordeal shows just how sick I've let our relationship evolve. _Ugh._ I could tear my hair out right now!

Andie pleads to be 'here' for me. _No, No, No._

I've had it today with people not listening to me.

I will not allow this to continue.

I will not be walked over!

I snap in fury and grab her neck on instinct. "I'm upset. And you know what happens when I'm upset. You have to leave."

"No." She protests. "You need to know that somebody cares about you. I care about you, Damon."

She's only saying those words because I compelled her to fall in love with me. None of this is _real_. I hate this!

I hate everything today!

Her words spiral me into a Ripper-like blood frenzy. I violently bite into her neck. She needs to remember that I'm a monster, not a man.

I don't need her sympathy nor do I deserve it.

I throw her to the floor in disgust of everything.

Seeing Andie so pathetic and crying on my floor makes me realize that I'm not mad at her, I'm mad at _myself_. She doesn't stand a chance against me, the fragile human. She's really just a toy like my brother said. He points out the worst in me like it's one of his favorite past times.

"God. Hey. Hey. Look at me." I say making sure this time I compel her because this is important. She will not have free choice.

"Get out of here, before I kill you. Just go. Go. Now!"

I could have killed her, but it wouldn't have solved anything. It wouldn't have made me feel better. I know this. I'm past getting a temporary fix to appease my pain. And I'm way too exhausted to deal with digging a grave.

* * *

I curse under my breath as I enter the kitchen to warm up my midnight snack. I discover Elena sitting on the island drinking a tea. It's chamomile if my heightened senses are correct. She's wearing those stupid excuse of pajamas again.

I only give her a head tilt of acknowledgement since I'm still pretty pissed off at her. I'm more than okay with just getting in and out of here. I open the microwave to toss the blood bag in and set the timer.

"Stefan said you were with Andie." Elena says breaking the silence.

"Stefan was wrong." I correct.

I find it hard to believe that he didn't hear Andie storm out earlier. Sounds like baby brother is just making things up to keep Elena away from me. Hmm. Maybe I struck a nerve earlier, good.

"I would have talked to you earlier… I thought you had… _company_." She says awkwardly, looking down at her cup instead of my eyes.

Her uncomfortable behavior somehow makes me feel better about our relationship. I'm happy she's feeling the tension between us too.

I smirk and move directly in front of her.

"Is that right?" I say, raising a brow. "Well? Talk."

"What I said yesterday, umm, about not meaning for this to happen." She begins and I roll my eyes.

"We don't have to get into this - whatever this _is_ - now." I reply instantly. "We've got a big night tomorrow. I'm counting on it."

Saved by the microwave chime, I pour the warm blood into a mug for my enjoyment. Elena watches me as if this is perfectly natural. It's nice I don't make her queasy. I chuckle to myself though imagining her watching my brother kill a deer. I don't think she'd be able to handle that sight. _Yuck._

"Damon." She says quietly, jumping off the island to join me. Her tea long forgotten.

"I don't think I made myself clear."

"Elena."

"Just let me explain... please." She pleads with her big brown doe eyes that make me weak and I give her an unsteady nod of approval.

"I don't regret what happened between us." She says in a hushed voice. "But I never meant to start something with you…"

"Oh, okay!" I say sarcastically. "That makes me feel much better, thank you for that. So what, did I live up to my reputation or do you want another go?"

Elena's basically admitting that she used me for sex! She really is no better than the slut that won't be named.

Grr...

I down the rest of the blood and set the mug in the sink, fully prepared to walk away from her.

"No, don't go, stop." She complains, getting in my way. _Wow._ Weren't we doing this other night, just the other way around?

"Get out of my way, Elena." I state politely, but with an edge to my voice.

"You're not listening to me." She grumbles. "I mean, I didn't want to start something with you, while I'm still with Stefan."

"That's great, but guess what - you did!" I nearly growl at her. "Look, if you wanna feel guilty, be my guest. But I don't care."

She's a bit taken aback by my words. "That's it then? That's all you have to say?"

"That's it." I say apathetically and shrug for good measure.

"I'm probably going to die-"

"Will you stop saying that?" I'm really pissed off.

"And I think you should know that I, I-" She stumbles in her words, looking down at her feet.

"Just stop." I beg. "I'm tired. It's been a _long_ day. If you can't say the words, then take it as a sign. So go upstairs and cozy up next to your boyfriend. Where you belong."

This time I don't allow her to stop me, I blur around her, running to the basement to grab another blood bag. All of this drama is exhausting and leaves me hungry.

Walking downstairs to the freezer room, I nearly bump right into Elijah. I curse at my bad luck.

I outright ignore him, but then notice that he's watching me very closely.

"What are you looking at?" I say aggravated. I can't deal with games.

"I didn't realize you love her too…" He says like he's fucking _Yoda_ or something.

"Join the club." I reply sarcastically.

* * *

My skin is tingling from the sun's rays beaming from the large windows in my room. Another day has come, also another day to deal with The Original Pain In The Ass. I _really_ don't want to get out of bed. If only all of this had been a long nightmare.

Yet I hear Elijah's haughty voice from downstairs and I know this is not a nightmare. No, this is the twisted reality which I somehow managed to get myself invested in. I take an unneeded breath before getting up and quickly dressing to find out what new nonsense is being schemed up by dumb and dumber.

* * *

_A/N: This story will end the day after the season 2 finale. **Be Good & Review!**_

___I wrote a dark triple-shot about 1864Vamp!Damon & 1864!Elena called "The Fiction We Live", check it out._

_**Follow Me On LJ: **badboysarebest(dot)livejournal(dot)com_


	10. Stadium Love

_Takes place during episodes 2x20-22._

* * *

.

.

.

_I know it's a lie, I want it to be true_  
_The rest of the ride is riding on you_  
_Over **goodbyes** we'll buy some place_

.

Downstairs I find Elijah, Stefan and Elena gathered together trying to come up with a scheme to kill Klaus for the millionth time. How many times do we have to go over this? Did we just not realize that Bonnie's capable of killing Klaus single-handily? The witch may die - may - but still what's trading one life for many others. I'm clearly the only one that understands the bottom line. When did _that_ happen?

I perk up hearing that Klaus has to drain Elena to the point of death. It's official, Elijah is not a good guy. Any plan that involves killing Elena is not okay. Then with his usual haughty tone, he declares that a magical potion will bring Elena back to life. Is this dude for real? Oh, right, here's the kicker - it's a potion that was made 500 years ago.

"That's the plan?" I exclaim in annoyance at the sheer stupidity of these people. "A magical witch potion with no expiration date?

I turn to Elena, trying to reason with her and get her to understand that she could die for real by putting her faith in Elijah. I can't stand the fact that she just trusts him blindly. She doesn't have the best judgement in people. In fact, she practically walks around with a sign that says '_I take candy from strangers_' 24/7.

"Then I guess I'll just be dead." She answers in a calm tone, but I know how scared she really is. Her heartbeat gives it away. It really bothers me how good Stefan is at faking it with her, because even on his bunny rabbit diet, I know he can hear her distressed heart too. He just blatantly decides to ignore her body's signals. The big faker.

I hopelessly turn to Stefan, hoping he'll talk some reason into her. And what does he do? He shrugs._ Stefan fucking shrugs._ Who shrugs after hearing their girlfriend - excuse me, 'the reason he lives to be undead' - might die? I can't stand this, I'm about to snap. Fucking no good _faker_.

Whatever, there has to be another way, I think as I exit the room. I need a drink, asap. I'm desperate for some relief after what I just witnessed in there.

Outside, Stefan greets me with a snarky line about my drinking habits. _Dude!_ He shouldn't be paying attention to me, he needs to be paying attention to Elena. His girlfriend is going to die and this is what he's doing with his time?

I scold him for trusting Elijah. How hard is this to understand? We tried to kill him! Usually when you try to kill someone, they don't end up liking you. Well, except for Alaric and eh, maybe Caroline in my case. But those are _exceptions_. Exceptions!

The day only gets worse when Alaric shows up, very much himself, explaining that Klaus let him go to deliver the message that we've all been waiting for. The sacrifice is going to happen tonight and everyone is prepared to let Elena die. Everyone, but me, obviously. This is a bit much for me to handle all at once. I don't do well with processing emotional events such as these, I never know how to react, so in everyone's favor I leave unnoticed in the direction of my bedroom..

If I had my way, I'd just throw Elena over my shoulder and rush out with her. Damn them all at this point.

* * *

_I'm going to make it right_  
_You haven't beat me yet **though** my vision is strained_

.

.

.

_Fuck._ I knew Elena was coming up to see me. I know it's her by the sound of her footsteps because I'm a freak like that. I always know when she's wondering around my house... How else would I be able to sneak upon her? I don't turn away from the window to greet her when she comes through my door. This is getting too painful. She is oblivious to the pain that she causes me, as always. She's like fucking _splinter_ that I've been trying to dig out all this time, but I only end up cutting myself up further. I'm a vampire and she's my annoying little splinter._ Yep._

"You disappeared." Elena says in a voice that's perfect for toying with my emotions, but I don't want to hear it anymore, so I tell her that straight out. She only makes things worse by acting like I matter to her_ (I know I don't actually matter to her)_. If I mattered to her, she'd see me as a contender to be her leading man.

"I need you to understand why I'm doing this." Elena continues.

"Why?" I turn angrily at her, because this is getting ridiculous. "It clearly doesn't matter what I think." I state heavily frustrated. I just wanna say, 'get out of my room, you and your damn doe eyes!', but it's futile.

"I'll be fine, Damon." She promises as if she can fool me. "I'll drink the elixir, Bonnie will kill Klaus and then all of this will finally be over."

Her nonchalant behavior about her death is destroying me. She has no idea what this is like for me. It's been so long since I've felt this much _emotion_... "If it works."

"It will work." She promises, when in reality, she's not in the position to promise anything.

"You think it will work. You want it to work. Why am I the only one who's convinced it won't? There has to be another way." I say trying to reason with her. She needs to understand the need for a back up plan. _Does the girl have a death wish?_ Images of Elena and I in my bed go through my mind. She wouldn't have one if she were dating me instead of my Thumper-drinking brother. That's for sure.

"There isn't." She replies, not wanting to listen. Stubborn, stubborn girl.

"And you're going to die, Elena." I say perfectly clear, walking up to her.

"And then I'll come back to life." She replies, closing the gap between us. Sometimes I really hate that when I push, she just pushes back. She's not in the position to push back, not this time, there's too much at risk. The girl has a serious problem when it comes to listening to her elders. If only she'd put her trust in me.

"That is not a risk I'm willing to take." I say with all of the passion that I can muster without breaking something in my room. The violence inside me is stirring.

"But I am." She says while bringing our hands together.

I look down at her hands and it saddens me. It saddens me to think about her lifeless body. It saddens me to know that we'll never get the chance to hold hands in public. Goddamn, listen to me. Listen to the type of guy she turns me into.

"It's my life, Damon." She continues, clasping our hands tighter. "My choice"

"I can't lose you." I say heartbroken. The big sap that I am.

"You won't." Elena gives me one last longing look before turning to leave.

I begin to think of my undead life without her and refuse to let her go. If she doesn't want to secure her future, then I'll have to do it. I know she's going to hate me, but at least she'll still be alive to do so. I decide it's time to interfere and block her exit.

"There is another way." I say seriously.

"What are you..." She asks, seeing the determination in my eyes. It's been awhile since she's feared me. Her blood smells delicious, I take notice because I can't avoid it.

I quickly bite my wrist and she knows what's going to happen as she shouts out at me. She struggles against me, but I can't let her go. I won't let her go. I refuse to let her die. She's too young... She hasn't even lived yet for fuck's sake!

When Stefan appears at my door, it all happens so fast and Elena lands on the floor, but with enough of my blood in her system.

"What did you do? Huh? What did you do?" Stefan shouts at me, as if he can't even comprehend why I would do this to her. The big faker.

I did this for us. The three of us. "I saved her life."

I turn to Elena with a knowing look. "You're so bent on dying, at least this way I know you'll come back." I say with a hint of triumph laced in my tone.

"As a vampire! She'll come back a vampire." Stefan chides me as if he think it didn't take my every ounce of courage to go through with this. Did he think this was easy?

"It's better than nothing else." I say harshly with a look that should make him back off.

"How could you, of all people, take that choice away from her?" Stefan continues his rant and takes it too far this time. Yes, brother, the tables have turned. Now I'm the one that's forcing others to turn. It doesn't matter, I don't regret my decision.

"Go ahead; wish me an eternity of misery. Believe me, you'll get over it." I say to Elena and Stefan charges at me because I hit a sour note in our ludicrous history.

"Stefan!" Elena cries shocked at the sudden display of violence. _Eat it up, sweetheart._

"Admit it." I demand seething because I've had enough of his bullshit. "You just wish you had the balls to do it yourself." I say because it's the truth. I know he must have thought of this a million times, but he couldn't handle the consequences. Couldn't handle her reaction. Or maybe he doesn't love her the way that I do. He's already felt her kiss, her need, so maybe he was able to let her go with those sweet memories in mind. Well, not me, not me brother: I'm not ready to let her go.

Stefan and I begin to fight because that's the only thing that makes sense anymore. Of course Elena isn't okay with us fighting. She needs to calm down, he's gonna heal like in a second. He's my baby brother and a lot of times I have to push him into shape...that's all.

"Get out of here!" She yells and for a second, I forget that we're in my room.

Alaric and Jenna arrive shortly as if they're, allowed to act like my elders. I'm twice as old as the both of them and then some, regardless I allow them to push me out of my room because I shouldn't be wasting my energy on this crap. There are more important things to be worried about. Fine. I got the job done and that's all that matters. Elena is going to live.

* * *

My day just gets more unsatisfying when I realize that Katherine will probably have answers that I need to save the day. I really don't want to see her, but desperate times call for...

Alaric lets me enter his apartment and I suddenly wonder if I should feel hurt that this is the first he has let me in. Oh well, best not to dwell on the fact. Talking to Katherine is a chore and the only thing I can count on is exploiting her by mentioning Stefan. Shit, the old girl is getting fucking _predictable_. I'm internally rolling my eyes right now.

"What?" Katherine replies when I tell her that Elena has vampire blood in her system. If I wasn't so fucking worried about everything, I'd actually be enjoying this moment. I'm so proud of myself for not loving this selfish bitch anymore.

"Imagine how much fun that will be competing with Elena for Stefan's love for, I don't know.." I sneer happily. "Forever."

Bingo! That did the job, I'm so good._ High five, anyone?_

* * *

"Bad time, little bro." I say incredulously while Stefan rings me in the middle of my mission impossible stunt.

"What the hell are you doing?" Excuse me while I try not to eyeroll. "Saving the day. I figured you'd understand. Just tell Elena to stay put."

"She's already gone, Damon." He replies.

"What?" A hundred moments flash in my saying she was sorry that I lost Katherine too, Elena slapping me after I turned Vicki, Elena hugging me after not finding Katherine in te tomb, Dancing with her in front of the whole town..

"I'll take care of it." I say with purpose because

I'm not letting Elena go. Why didn't Stefan stop her? Questions run through my mind before I pulled back into the action movie that's become my undead life. Suddenly the wolf boy is turning and he's about to kill barbie, but I intercept the attack. I push him off me, but it's too late. That dig bit me!

"Damon..." Caroline says because she knows what this means. She also knows that I saved her life.

What can I say other than I'm fine? Yep that's me. Damon Salvatore... Calm in a crisis._ Fuck._

* * *

_When you should be dreaming, we'll wake you_  
_But **don't** scream, we'll make you swallow your words_

.

.

.

"I've heard about you. The crazy, impulsive vampire in love with his brother's girl." Klaus says to me as I attempt to figure out this psycho. "I knew one of you would try to stop me. It was just a 50/50 guess on who."

That's something alright. Everyone knows I'm in love with Elena. She can't pretend that I don't love her. She doesn't have to hear me say it. My heart sinks when I realize what an utter failure I am at being a hero. I clearly wasn't made out of the stuff that build heroes.

"When you spend a thousand years trying to break a curse... You learn a thing or two. First rule... always have a back-up. Back-up werewolf. Back-up witch." Klaus says smugly. I would do anything to tear his lips off his face.

"Back-up vampire." I finish for him and things go black. When I wake up, I've never been so scared in my life even though I don't show it. I question Katherine why he left me behind and she tells me that he couldn't use me that he said I was 'good as dead'.

I question her and we look down at my forearm. "What is this, Damon?" She asks and I hate the answer to the question._ Shit. I am good as dead aren't I?_ The fact that I'll be dead soon is creeping up on me.

My life might already be over, but that's gonna stop me from trying to save Elena. If anything, I am more inspired to save her. I don't want her to turn into a vampire and spend eternity _without_ me. That wasn't part of the plan.

Katherine gives me a look that's too much for me to bother with. "145 years and no last good-bye?"

"You don't get a good-bye." I say because this isn't about her. I refuse to make any of my last hours about her. I have more self-respect for myself (nowadays...I've grown, okay?). Since she keeps pushing me, I lash out at her. What? She deserves it. She's the one that's walking out without a scratch, so I mention that to her.

"Somehow you're the only one that wins." I state to her in my most unsurprised voice. "How'd that happen?"

"I didn't let love get in the way." Katherine says in a proud voice that nearly makes me sick. I would be sick if it were possible for a vampire. She's got no heart.

"Enjoy eternity alone, Katherine." I say as I leave because that's all I have to say to her. Someone had to say it to her and hell, why not me? Sure, loving Elena is hard, but she's alive in every way. She has relationships with people and her heart shows in them. She is a person of actual substance. Even when Elena manipulates me, it's usually for some greater good, so it's hard for me to stay mad at her. She's a part of this world while her evil doppelgänger just glides through life on her selfish crusade.

When I get home, John is ready to bother me._ Shit._ I could eat that fool. "You do not want to mess with me right now."

The dude keeps messing with me though, saying that I ruined the daughter that he abandoned's life and all that. Fuck, I could go for a bite about now. "I know, John. I took her choice, destroyed her future. Trust me, I get it. It actually gets worse."

"How could it possibly get any worse?" John asks and I guess it's time to get daddy dearest in the picture even though the dick doesn't deserve shit.

Whatever. If I'm miserable, everyone else should join.

* * *

_Every living thing _  
_Pushed into the ring_  
_Fight it out_  
_To wow the crowd_  
_Guess you thought_  
_You could just watch_  
_No one's getting out_  
_Without stadium **love**_

.

.

.

The whole rescue is a big show with dying and crying left and right. My brother and his girlfriend are both at the platter of the Original Pain In The Ass; the only two people that I love dearly. I wince seeing the bite on Elena's neck. It isn't right that he got a piece of our girl. I carry her over to my brother because it's the right thing to do. I can't just skip out with her. My twisted sense of honor comes out in the most unfortunate times.

To my surprise, Stefan demands that I get her out of here. "What about you?" I ask confused and worried about him.

Stefan yells at me with determination, so I decide that he'a a big enough boy to take care of himself. But that doesn't mean he's gonna leave my thoughts.

* * *

As I carry Elena into the witch house, I'm grateful that the old maids are giving me a pass in their whole fucking with me agenda. What's their problem anyway? Yeah, I get that witches and vampires don't mix, but gosh, I am probably the only vampire in existence to have ever protected these bitches... Some thanks I get.

Anyway back to the task at hand, I look at Elena in anguish. "If you come back as a vampire, I'll stake you myself. So don't." I say stroking her hair. "Because I can't stand the idea of you hating me forever."

Yes! I cheer as I see her waking up. This is one of the best moments in my entre life. "Elena!"

"What happened?" She asks looking confused. Girl just _died_, but she's look good.

"How do you feel?" I ask because that's the only thing that matters. Klaus, who?

"I feel fine." She replies and I nearly cry tears of joy. I want to kiss her so bad, but I don't think she's ready for that. We're not in a good place at the moment, but I think she knows how much she means to me, so that's enough.

Can I just say 'I told you so' when I hear that Elijah is the only reason why Klaus is alive? I knew it all along. Why? Because I have a baby brother too. Killing your baby brother... You don't come back from that. If I ever actually succeeded at killing Stefan, I'd probably meet the sun myself shortly after.

The next few hours are going to suck. I'm gonna have to make sure everyone is buried and Elena will have to deal with recovering from losing both John and Jenna. I allow my baby bro to do the boyfriend duty while I take care of the remaining business.

At the graveyard, I compel two of the grave diggers to do the dirty work at the Gilbert family plot. My thoughts are with Elena the entire time. I'm selfish in the way that I only care about if she'll ever forgive me. I look down at the wound in my forearm and wonder how long I actually have. At least the girl is alive... Things aren't right though. Klaus is still at large and I won't be around much longer to protect her.

"How's she doing?" I ask Stefan after filling him in on my activities.

"She lost the only parents she had. She's in shock." Stefan replies as we wait for her to come down for the funeral.

When Elena comes downstairs with Jeremy, she doesn't meet my eyes, but she's also not paying attention to Stefan. The girl actually flinches when Stefan places his hand on the small of her back.

During the funeral, I want to comfort Elena so badly as I watch her place two roses on the ground for her parents. The poor girl has lost so much. She's just a little human too, she hasn't committed unspeakable horrors to deserve this amount of suffering.

When Elena lifts her eyes, she finds me and I give her the best look of honest sympathy that I can muster. I want her to know that I'll always care for her.

* * *

At the end of service, it's time to finally tell Stefan what's up cause I know there isn't much time left for me. I already feel weaker.

"We'll find something. A cure." Stefan promises me. It's hard being reminded that he actually loves me. It makes it harder for me to let him go. Damn him.

"There's no cure, Stefan." I reply trying to stay cool. Even on my darkest day, I can't breakdown in front of my baby brother. It wouldn't be right.

Stefan claims that things will be okay because we kept Elena human, but that was a lucky break. A very lucky break. He wasn't there when Rose lost her mind and went rabid on Elena. He didn't go through that and I don't want him to go through that because of my sorry ass.

"You want to do something for me? Keep this from Elena. Last thing she needs is another grave to mourn." I reply seriously because that's all I want. I don't want to cause Elena anymore pain... I've done enough to her these past few days.

I walk into the the distance toward the sun because I'm not looking for pity. I may not deserve peace but I would like some moments of peace before I go insane, literally. I can't lose myself, not the way that I watched Rose go. I refuse to go out that way... So pathetic. I've had a good run of this world, been here longer than most, so it's time to let go. It felt good to let Katherine go, so maybe, just _maybe_ I'll be able to let Stefan and Elena go too.

* * *

"That'll get easier." I say meeting Elena at her house as she deals with the grief of losing Jenna. "But you knew that."

"What do you want?" Elena asks on the defensive.

I tell her that I want to apologize because that's the truth. I won't be able to leave this world with the type of unfinished business on my mind. "And I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but... I need it." I say in a pleading voice, but she rejects me saying that she needs time, "maybe a lot of time."

I tell her to take all of the time she needs because I can't force her anything. It wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be real and I would just end up hating myself more. The only thing that I can do is let her be. It's for the best.

Walking home, I feel like shit about my relationship with Elena. Relationship? What relationship? I internally scoff at my thoughts. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ The girl couldn't even tell me that she loved me. She fucked me without saying the words._ I'm worthless._ I feel worthless and this is it. It's time for me to end it all, but not without a stiff drink first. Oh sweet alcohol, how you have been my trusty companion for all of these years.

When I finally arrive at the boarding house, I walk in and take off my jacket thinking this is it. This is the last time that I'll walk into my home again. I pour myself a drink of my favorite that I only save for 'special' occasions.

After taking a sip, I roll up my sleeve to see how much the bite has accelerated in damaging my tissue. Yeah, that's nasty. I know it's time. I walk over to the window and draw open the curtains to welcome the sun. I take off my ring and drop it, feeling the sun burn into me.

Nothing works out like I plan though - surprise, surprise- since Stefan tackles me hard putting his high school football years to good use. I tell him to get off of me, but he doesn't listen. Fucking Stefan, I can never get what I want from him.

Stefan whines. "You're not doing this."

"Just did." I point out like the smartass that I am. "You know what happened to Rose, Stefan."

Stefan tells me that I'm not dying 'today' and then super-speeds us to the basement. He throws me in the cellar and locks the door on me. _Shit._ Talk about deja vu.

"What's the plan, Superman?" I tease in annoyance and Stefan replies saying that he's "gonna find a way out of this."

"Oh, right. A miracle cure. Good luck with that one."

"I got Bonnie looking for something, anything." Baby brother replies.

"Always the hero, Stefan. Just tell me good-bye, get it over with."

God, that hurts, I think as I cough up blood. It's weird coughing like this. In a way, it makes me feel human. You know when I was once human and fragile to everything.

"Lie still. Conserve your strength." Stefan advices before leaving me to my lonely desolation.

That's gross... I think looking down at the dirty blood that's coming out of me. So dark, so wrong, just like my existence.

* * *

Coming out of my hallucination and seeing Elena in 1864 is a mind-fuck to say the least. I can't get Elena's words out of my head, "You had a choice." ... She's right. I was so _naive_ then. I thought I could do it, share her with my brother. I was willing to settle with someone that never loved me.

The room is spinning. _Shit._

"Well, that looks bad." I hear Alaric say. I assume he's actually here.

"It feels worse. My subconscious is haunting me, Rick." I say pathetically and turn to see he's got a glass tumblr and my ring in the door window. "Please tell me you have something for that."

I manage to stumble over there and he pours me a drink. "So my brother sent you for suicide watch?" I ask knowingly.

"He's just trying to help." Alaric replies.

I try and get him to end it for me. I figured it was worth a shot considering all of the women that I've ruined for him. I even strangle him to remind him of the person that I am, but it doesn't have the intended affect. He knows me too well. He came prepared with a vervain dart.

Damn. Motherfucker. This hurts...I fall to the floor seeing Elena there in front of me. "No. Elena?"

"Elena's not here, Damon." I hear Alaric reply in the noisy background of my haunting mind.

* * *

_Everybody just wanna fall in love_  
_Everybody just wanna play the **lead**_

.

.

.

I stumble around town desperate to find Elena. After everything, I find myself still wanting to her. Jeremy finds me and I think he's shot. It's hard to think anymore. Hard to know what's real and what's not. It all blurs together. Katherine, Elena, Katherine is Elena, Elena is Katherine... no that's not right. They are two different women. Women with the same face.

When I see that face - Elena's face - it's such a relief seeing her. She takes me aside saying we're going everywhere. Wait, that's Katherine that I wanted to go everywhere with.

"No. Damon. No." I hear her say.

She doesn't mean it. She wants me. "I have to... If we are to be together forever." I say as I bite into her neck.

Her rich blood fills my neck. But there's pains of cry in the background and that doesn't sound right. She isn't supposed to be in pain. Not like this. I move away from her and see that it's Elena.

I've hurt her.

My eyes widen.

"Elena." I say stumbling away from her.

I have to get away from her.

I can barely walk.

I crumble against her. My mind is a mess. That was Elena. I bit Elena.

* * *

_I love everything  
__No sleep; I lose everything  
__Oh, don't tell me again  
__I won't see you again_

.

.

.

I don't even how we made it back to the boarding house without me collapsing on the side of the road. I've never been so happy to be in my bed and that's saying a lot 'cause I've had some amazing times in this bed.

I try so hard to get Elena to leave me alone, but she won't. She saw what happened to Rose and yet she won't leave me alone. After everything - after how hard I tried to save her life - she's still putting it at risk by being around me.

Elena says I won't hurt her. She's a fucking _idiot_. I just took a piece out of her earlier thinking she was Katherine. There's no safety in this situation. I'm not in control of my mind.

Feeling Elena's soft body under me is a small comfort, but hearing her say that 'I'm okay' isn't. There's nothing okay about this situation. I have to stay rational.

"No one forced me to love her." I say coming to my realizations about Katherine. "It was my own choice...I made the wrong choice."

The wrong choice. It's all on me.

I'm experiencing this pain because of my choices.

I could have lived and died as a human. Now I lay here in my regret. I regret all of the blame that I've put on Stefan.

I look up to Elena with shame in my eyes and ask her to tell Stefan for me. He needs to know that I felt bad for everything in the end.

I don't have hope even though Elena is attempting to reassure me. I know that I deserve this fate and I tell her so.

"No. You don't." She replies in her warm voice and crawls down my bed to meet me more at eye level.

"I do, Elena. It's ok. 'Cause if I'd have chosen differently, I wouldn't have met you." My words obviously catch her attention, so I pause to look at her. "I'm so sorry. Done so many things to hurt you."

"It's ok. I forgive you."

God, she's an angel. I've done terrible, unforgivable things to her and her friends. She's still trying to give me peace.

"I know you love Stefan. And it will always be Stefan." I remark knowingly and she takes my hand. This is tortuous, feeling all of this at once and having her so near. "But I love you..."

I think of what it would have been like if she met me when I was naive. If it had been her instead of Katherine. When all I wanted to do was fall in love, treat the girl right... I smirk because I would have swept her off her feet.

"You should have met me in 1864." We would have done things right. "You would have liked me." I say dreamily.

That's the thought I want to die with. I want to stay in a world where Elena would have wanted to be with me.

"I like you now." Elena admits and it stings for her to say that. "Just the way you are." She adds and I continue to think of missed opportunities between us.

Then she kisses me and it's so soft. I know it's really her too and not Katherine. "Thank you." I reply feeling like she was generous by doing that.

"You're welcome." Elena replies softy.

"Well, it's me you should be thanking." That's Katherine. Wait, she's here? "I mean, I'm the one who brought the cure."

Katherine brought me the cure. I must be losing my mind again, oh goody.

When Katherine sits down on the bed, I smell her and I know it's really her. She's here. "You got free." I comment.

"Yep. Finally." She replies in her usual entitled voice and pours blood down my throat from the vile she brought.

"And you still came here?" I have to say it. How can I not be surprised that she's the one to save me.

She gives me a little pat on my face like old times. "I owed you one." She explains before getting up.

Then it seems like things are getting back to normal as Elena asks about Stefan.

"Where is he?" Elena demands as Katherine teases her, such a bitch.

"He's paying for this." Katherine explains. When she explains that he sacrificed everything, even Elena, just to save me.. that doesn't sound good._ Fuck, Stefan, what have you done?_ And Katherine saying that Elena has me to keep her company... ugh, bad feelings overwhelm me.

Of course, Katherine won't just leave either. No, she's gotta mind-fuck us further with her final comment: "Oh. It's ok to love them both. I did." And tosses the vial to Elena before leaving us alone.

I just... what... I try to sit up in bed. I... what reaction am I supposed to have to an impossible situation?

Talk about awkward as Elena and I stare at each other. I'm not trying to make her confess feelings over Katherine, so I quickly change the subject back to Stefan.

"Text him." I say quickly. I have no idea where my phone is nor do I have the energy to look for it.

She scurries to do so and I remain pathetically on my bed.

Minutes pass and Elena remains next to the bed. She goes from staring at her phone to staring at me.

_Fuck._

"He's not answering." She whispers as if I can't tell.

**THE END**

* * *

_A/N: So there isn't a happy ending, I know. But hey, I tried really hard to match up Damon's thoughts to end of season 2. This was a fic that kinda took things into it's own hands (Vic & Kel gave it an extra push too). Anyway, just consider this as alternate version to what we saw on screen. Also, I found finishing this fic to be strangely therapeutic after that heartbreaker of an episode this week. **Feel free to leave any Damon-related thoughts in your reviews.** :)_

_**Twitter & Livejournal:** BadBoysAreBest_

_ps. All lyrics were from Metric._


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